Monday, January 22, 2007

A Noisy Village

I'm sure you moms have all heard the phrase "It takes a village to raise a child". It should really be more like "It takes a village to talk about how you raise your child".

People, specifically family, spend 90% of their time visiting with you assessing your child. Have you noticed? Especially infants. I guess because they can't pipe in to defend themselves.

Why is the baby crying?

She sounds like she's in pain. Did you give her the maximun 12 doses of Mylicon yet?

Have you tried giving her cereal? Can I give her some? I just happen to have a box of baby cereal in my purse.

Is her ear deformed? Why don't you duct tape it to her head?

She certainly is fat. Are those thigh tires a good thing?

Oh, there she goes spitting up again. Does she need some medicine? What does her doctor say about all that spewing? It sure is rank. No thanks, you can hold her.

She just blew out a diaper. That's why she was crying. Perhaps you should change what you eat so she won't be so miserable.

Does she always scream when she's unhappy? Is it gas?

Isabella was never like that. She's always been so docile and sweet. (This just baffles me since Bella didn't like anyone or anything the first 6 months of her life. Everyone thought she was Satan's sister)

And the best one...

You shouldn't hold your baby so much. It will spoil her.


It wears a person out completely. A mother shouldn't have to spend so much time defending herself or her children! It is no wonder that so many moms look wild-eyed and exhausted. It isn't necessarily from their is from everyone constantly evaluating their skills as a parent or their kid's lack of perfection (ie. seen and not heard).

Other than that, we had a fabulous weekend. How about you? :)


tallulah said...

I hear you loud and clear. My Mom (and other wonderful family members)is QUEEN of offering unsolicited advice.
Sorry the little one is so cranky.Mantra for the week: This too, shall pass.

meeshemama said...

Glad for the fabulous weekend. Thank goodness you are on kid#2 or I could imagine comments like those would make you feel like you are doing a completely terrible job. My MIL doesn't give me advice so much as she tells me how she raised her children and how much my children remind her of her children. "Ohhhh, when that happened with _____, I _____. I know exactly how you feel."

Jennboree said...

What's funny about this particular child of mine, she's happy as a clam as long as I am either holding her or talking and/or making faces to her 24/7. That doesn't leave much room for anyone else to socialize with her and Ava is perfectly happy with that!

I also think that she is totally disgusted by smokers' smell. I tried to gently explain that, but there's no good way to tell a smoker that a baby is repulsed by their stank. The baby must be hungry or have gas instead.

Mama G said...

You have just documented, with great humor I might add, the exact reason I shy away from "mommy groups"!!

louann said...

No really, seriously, that is SO true! talk about unsolicited advise. I have learned to control the rolling of my dear eyes whenever people start "mentoring" me regarding "hot to.." my kids! argh
glad you had a great weekend though!

Amanda Sue said...

i was laughing so loud by the time i got to the end of this because that is so dadgum TRUE!

my favorite is when they start trying "tricks" they used on their kids, only to leave your baby staring at them (through their screams) like they are the stupidest thing on earth.

Mizzou379 said...

Oh sister, I hear you with the unsolicited advice. The worst is from my mother in law. Right after I feed Hank, she will start throwing him up in the air and bouncing him on her knee and then have the AUDACITY to ask me why he spits up so much.
I told her we were starting solids and she insisted I make my own because "canned baby foods have all that sugar and high fructose corn syrup and salt and POISON!"
I informed that I am a working MOm and in theory, I'd love to spend all day peeling, boiling & mashing up organic produce, but it just doesn't fit in to our lifestyle. Then she buys me a food mill. DID I NOT JUST SAY THAT I DO NOT WANT TO MKAE MY OWN BABY FOOD?
Sorry for the rant. I am just with you 100%. Oh, and when I got home, I checked the back of the store-bought poisonous squash. Ingredients? "Squash, water." PERIOD. Guess who got a phone call immediately? I made my husband do it, so I'm not so much of a bad ass, but I got my point across.
I'm off to the post office to anonymously mail back the food mill.

s@bd said...


(I'll come over and do it for you if you're feeling shy about it.)

T-girl said...

AMEN SISTER!!!! I love when people (like my step mother) TELL me what I an going/should/need to do about a "problem" I had no idea I even had! What ticks me off about it is it always seems to be the people with children you want to beat the crap out of! You know the ones with the kids that people run and hid from when they are let out of their cages!

Hang in there and try to remember it for someday when Bella and Ava have families of thier own... unless the ask of course!

OH Mizzou- you discovered it already BUT... babyfood in the US is not allowed to nothing but the food and water to blend it in. This changes once you get into the toddler foods and some of the chunckier foods although Gerber is gernerally really good about not using them even then. If you really want to be a smartypants you can get on the American Dietetic site and download their handout on it for her! I am thinking she would REALLY appreciate that! LOL If it makes you feel better I am a registrared dietician and my MIL ALWAYS, without fail, tells me some new, secret, breakthrough or just plain ol weird nurtition advice upon every meeting.

I'm Just a Girl said...

LMAO capture the "sticking nose where it doesn't belong" phenomenon beautifully!

Jennboree said...

Ahhh...I KNEW you all could relate!

Now I feel better about griping :)

Eve said...

Oh, Jenn, you sweet saint, you. I would have those people giving their running commentaries on the front porch. Actually, probably across the street, as my front door isn't totally soundproof.

People just always have to say SOMETHING, even if it is ridiculous and none of their business. Ugh- that "too much holding" comment just KILLS ME.

jes said...

How do you handle it? All those comments, I mean? Wow - I'll totally keep myself in check next time I'm around a fussy baby. I think if someone said those to me, I'd be walking.

Michelle Ugarte said...

I totally understand how you feel about the unsolicited advice. My MIL doesn't say it to my face but I know she talks behind my back about how I don't do this and don't do that. Whenever she comes over she just tries to take over Bella like she's her child.

Then when I'm nursing my son, I will put a blanket over me so people don't have to look at my boob. But she'll walk up to me and lift up the blanket so she can watch me breast feed my son. I'm like DO YOU MIND?!?! =)