Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Life Is Like A Box of Chocolate, Alot Of It Is Nuts...Or Maybe Just Me

Three Faces of Eve posted some interesting facts about herself. I love reading about you all so I thought maybe you might want to know a bit more about me. Hey, I understand if you don't.

Over the years, I've learned to see the humor in my life and poke fun at myself. I wouldn't change anything about my life or my past as it is all one big adventure with lessons throughout.

1) Being the undisciplined college student that I was, I only attended the art classes. Even with A's, that isn't going to do much for the ol' GPA when you don't show up for anything else.

2) Amazingly, some people thought my talent enough to teach their children art lessons for two years. That was fun and inspiring. Though not inspiring enough to return to school.

3) Met my husband at the horse track. It was the first time I'd ever been and he was standing next to me as the horse we'd both bet on won the race. I high-fived the stranger and married him 3 years later.

4) I hiked the Grand Canyon from North Rim to South Rim in just over 2 days. I had never hiked or camped prior to this. I lost four toenails which, I'm told, have been permanently "traumatized". It was the worst and the most incredible experience ever. By the end of the 26 mile hike, I was in tears and a day hiker asked if I was alright. I sobbed and begged that she tell her children to "keep to the right" of the trail instead of barreling down past exhausted uphill hikers. I'm pretty sure she was concerned for my mental state as well as physical.

5) Having not learned anything, I skiied for the first time on my honeymoon in Whistler, Canada. CRAZY. That sums it up. Took me 2 1/2 hours to get down the mountain. By the end of it, I was cursing so loud I'm pretty sure the school of 9 yr olds zipping past me picked up a few new words. I blame my husband for thinking the girl in powder blue excelling in ski school was me and encouraging me to skip the rest of class to ski with him. I was actually the one in powder blue barely mastering the snow plow.

6) Third time's the charm for stupidity, I guess. When 4 months pregnant with Bella, we went to Mexico as we do every year, but for some ungodly reason, we decided we were bored of just relaxing on the beach with waiters to serve us. So we rode 1950's banana seat bicycles through the jungles of Coba. It was so bumpy, I couldn't sit on the seat and I had to stand on the pedals to ride. I spent the entire next day sick, in Mexico, and my husband frantically called my doctor in the states asking for help. Can you imagine the conversation the nurses had over that call?

7) I have never ridden a rollercoaster and never will.

8) I'm afraid of exiting dark rooms. I will pretty much leap or run from the dark room to one that has light. I'll do the same when leaving the dark outside to the lighted indoors. I try to keep the heebie jeebies to a minimum around others.

9) I've been married before and thought for sure I would be punished for getting a divorce by never bearing children. So much for that ridiculous notion. I've been blessed beyond measure with two beautiful, healthy girls.

10) I love to drink sweet tea with milk. My brother and sister do as well. But they drink tea with about 1/4 tsp milk. Not sure that really counts.

11) I have an obsessision with my childrens' nostrils and ears. If there is anything there, I gotta remove it. It appears that I've passed that obsession on to Bella. The other day she was caught with her finger up Ava's nose.

12) Sometimes when nursing Ava in the middle of the night, I think of things I could blog about. Then I completely forget what it was by morning.

Yeah, so I'm ending the list at 12.

Tell me something kooky about you so I feel better about myself. K? What good friends you are!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Look At That Goat, Honey!

We are so City. If there was ever a question before, it has been answered as of yesterday.

We went to the livestock and equestrian show. Our city has one of the largest stock shows in the U.S. and we've gone every year that we've been together. The first few years, I think we fit in pretty good. Even went to the rodeo without looking too deer in the headlights. I yee-hawed with the best of 'em.

This year we loaded up the double stroller, the Snugli (aka the Life Saver), the diaper bag, our two children and us. I opted against Bella's faux fur sweater set that just screamed Gymboree, and instead she wore jeans and a hoodie.

We wandered around aimlessly, Bella's excitement building for the animals she was supposed to see. The first animal? A horse. Walking away. So she got to see a horse's butt up close. I just prayed that was all she'd see at that moment.

I don't know WHY but it took a good hour, 3 corn dogs, a bag of caramel popcorn and a greasy ham n' cheese sandwich for us to decide we needed a map. Bella had yet to see anything other than the equestrian behind and her humor was leaving the premises. Oh, we could hear the swine, the chickens, the cows and the goats, but had yet to find them among all the barns and auction houses with high stalls.

FINALLY, we found what we were looking for. The children's barnyard. Newly hatched baby chicks, ducklings, calfs, bunnies (only the cutest EVER!), miniature horses, piglets, and a turkey the gobbled and made the city kids scream with delighted fear while the country kids looked confused at such a response.

Bella took a cute picture with four precious baby goats. She was too enamored to look at the photographer so the girl started yelling Bella's name to get her attention. "ISABELLA! LOOK AT THE CAMERA! ISSSSSSABELLLLLLLLAAA!" Whatever. Bella was way more into this fuzzy little creature laying on her lap. That polaroid was $7.50.

Afterwards, she took an adorable picture on a miniature horse. Pink cowgirl hat, chaps, bandana and huge smile. She threw a fit when she had to get off her new toy.

Then said she needed a picture with the chickens. Fortunately, there was no booth for that.

Three hours and well over $100 later, I was carrying Bella, Ava was in the Snugli on my husband and the stroller was strewn with goodies and crumbs. It was time to go home.

On our way out, we're walking by the area the animals use to exercise.

I exclaim, "Bella! Look at the goat, honey! Isn't it so cute?!"

It baa's at me.

Oh. It is a shorn sheep.

I may as well have offered up some hot sauce from NEW YORK CITY! for the looks I got.

The country folks rolled their eyes, a few chuckles were heard and my husband laughed hysterically. (hey, mister, I didn't see you pipe in that it was a sheep!)

Next year, I will at least know the difference between a goat and a naked sheep. I just hope Bella continues to not take notice of the huge difference between a bull and a cow. And I do mean huge.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

A Tale Of Four Kitchens

This year we decided to get Bella a play kitchen. I'm all for women's lib but also understand that little girls looooooove to pretend they are domestic goddesses.

I didn't want to spend alot on a kitchen since it wasn't to be the focal point of her room. I also bought her an art easel and her dad bought an adorable writing desk & chair. We have high expectations.

I found a kitchen on sale for $30. It was a steal as it was regular price $60. How could I not? I ordered it and received a box of 150 million pieces of plastic all stuck together awaiting an evening of cursing and ARGH!-ing to put it together.

My husband's aunt ordered a kitchen for their granddaughter, who they are raising. She bought the fancy schmancy expensive one. It was delivered to our house since she and her husband work.

Then she figured out that the store over-charged them and so the store...sent them another one. To our house. So now I had three play kitchens at my house. Why? Because they insisted my aunt had to take her first one back to the store for a refund because she paid by check, blah blah blah.

After comparing apples to carcass, I decided to buy the schmancy kitchen from the aunt and give the crappy one to his grandmother so all the grandkids could play and destroy without anyone feeling bad.


El' Crapo was missing parts. Are you kidding me?

I contacted the store, they said they'd send the parts.

What did I receive? Oh yeah! ANOTHER KITCHEN.

I have never, nor do I ever want again, four plastic kitchens in my home. Try explaining to a 2 1/2 yr old that you are basically a plastics warehouse and she only gets to keep one. How very Mommy Dearest.

The tickle-your-funny-bone-or-not part? The original store told me to keep Crappy Kitchen #2 for free. HA! All that means is that I have two turds and one is still missing pieces! That will be donated. Don't feel bad for the kid who gets it, SHE can have HER mommy call for the missing sink.

As for Bella, she's happy as can be with the expensive kitchen. Go figure. And when I asked if she could make me some tea?

"Uh-oh...I'm fesh out, Mama."


Monday, January 22, 2007

A Noisy Village

I'm sure you moms have all heard the phrase "It takes a village to raise a child". It should really be more like "It takes a village to talk about how you raise your child".

People, specifically family, spend 90% of their time visiting with you assessing your child. Have you noticed? Especially infants. I guess because they can't pipe in to defend themselves.

Why is the baby crying?

She sounds like she's in pain. Did you give her the maximun 12 doses of Mylicon yet?

Have you tried giving her cereal? Can I give her some? I just happen to have a box of baby cereal in my purse.

Is her ear deformed? Why don't you duct tape it to her head?

She certainly is fat. Are those thigh tires a good thing?

Oh, there she goes spitting up again. Does she need some medicine? What does her doctor say about all that spewing? It sure is rank. No thanks, you can hold her.

She just blew out a diaper. That's why she was crying. Perhaps you should change what you eat so she won't be so miserable.

Does she always scream when she's unhappy? Is it gas?

Isabella was never like that. She's always been so docile and sweet. (This just baffles me since Bella didn't like anyone or anything the first 6 months of her life. Everyone thought she was Satan's sister)

And the best one...

You shouldn't hold your baby so much. It will spoil her.


It wears a person out completely. A mother shouldn't have to spend so much time defending herself or her children! It is no wonder that so many moms look wild-eyed and exhausted. It isn't necessarily from their babies...it is from everyone constantly evaluating their skills as a parent or their kid's lack of perfection (ie. seen and not heard).

Other than that, we had a fabulous weekend. How about you? :)

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Snow, Ya'll!

Well, lookit that.


In Texas.

Keep tryin, honey...

I think red plaid and pastels look lovely together, don't you?

(There IS a fire amongst all that ash. Really)

Bella shares her fashion tips with Ava.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Careful What You Ask For

Because my daughter is hilarious to me, another Bella Tidbit:

Last night after a long, luxurious shower (a rarity), I was at my make-up table applying my nightly moisturizer with Bella next to me, rummaging through the make-up drawer. She found a necklace and decided to try and hang it on my boob.

When that didn't work, she decided to examine the boob closer and poked it as if it might be playing possum.

We talked about how Ava gets baby milk and she drinks big girl milk. Then she asked where the milk was. So I showed her how it works with a little squeeze, a stream of milk hitting the counter.

Bella stared for a moment.

"Ima go see what Daddy's doin"


Friday, January 12, 2007

What A Sucker!

So one of our New Year resolutions is to get Bella potty trained before preschool starts in August. At least enough where she can tell the teacher she needs to go potty and will keep her pull-up dry, for the most part.

Yesterday, I told Bella that she needed to potty on the big-girl potty because we were almost out of Dora pull-ups. It is true, I wasn't lying!

Then...I said she'd get a reward after. Her eyes got huge with excitement and she ran to the potty, yanked her pants down and peed with lightning speed.

After much praise and hand clapping, I cleaned her up, she washed her hands and immediately requested her reward. So I gave her a dum-dum sucker.

She peed 4 times yesterday. That means FOUR SUCKERS.

Each time she would go, pulling her own pants down and sort of pulling them back up (getting it over the hiney seems to be a challenge) then promptly asked for her reward. At first I thought she was fibbing when she'd come running into the room announcing what a big girl she is on the potty. Isn't that awful? But sure enough, a freshly filled potty tray awaited me.


At this rate, we'll be visiting the dentist within a month trying to explain decay and chipped teeth. We'll also have to spend a small fortune stocking up on toilet paper for the half-roll she wads and dabs with after each session.

This morning, I asked if she needed to use the potty. She said no so I figured yesterday was just a freak day. I changed her droopy night diaper and put fresh clothes on her.

I barely had her pants pulled up before she tore off to the bathroom, yanked down her pants, peed, asked if I was "poud of hu" (yes, she's into talking 3rd person lately) and demanded a sucker.


Thursday, January 11, 2007

Save A Jigger For Me

This is totally random but I have to share this EASY and delicious recipe for all you busy working and stay-at-home moms....or you who are lazy and hungry.

Every week I buy a roasted chicken in the deli section. The key is to de-bone it immediately because it is less nasty than when the chicken is cold.

One of the things I make weekly (we're pitiful that way) is a vodka penne pasta. Hey, somebody's gotta drink the Absolute.

All you need:

1 jar marinara or the tub of it in the refrigerated section at the store (Buitoni?)
1/2 can petite diced tomatoes
1 cup chopped fresh mushrooms (more or less or none, as you prefer)
1 cup shredded roast chicken
1/3 cup Vodka
Cooked penne pasta

I like to sautee the mushrooms in olive oil first. Then add the sauce and diced tomatoes into same pan. Throw in chicken and add the vodka. Let it simmer for about 15 minutes on low.

Toss the sauce with the penne pasta or serve on top of the penne.


My child LOVES this dish. Maybe because she thinks she's getting some alcohol while a minor.

I'm not much of a cook but when I find an easy recipe that the whole family will eat, we run with it.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


Have you seen the new Bud Light commercials and billboards?

"It's always worth it."

IS IT? Really?

Is it worth wrapping your tree around a pole? Is it worth playing hopskotch in a straight line while touching your nose as an officer requests backup?

It has to be the most irresponsible and stupid ad slogan in years.

However, Geico has GREAT commericals. I love mocking Neanderthals.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Ooops...I did it again...

Well, Ava rolled off the couch this morning.

There goes my Mother of the Year nomination...again.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Who's That Girl?

Here's proof that Ava has good days.

Did you ever notice you have far more pics with your children posing with everyone but you?
I got creative. If you have a digital camera, you can take a self-portrait if you take the pic with the view window on the camera reflecting in the bathroom mirror. Oh yeah. Total geek move.

Ava had fun. For at least five minutes. Think I'll try this technique with both girls.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Whatever Works...Right?

NOTE: Before calling CPS, no baby was injured or drugged during this photo shoot.

She fell asleep chomping on Daddy's finger. She awoke for 1/2 second to lip tremble, then promptly fell back asleep. This is normal for our child.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

No Rest For The Weary

I beg of you...help me help her.

With Isabella, we co-slept until she was about 13 months old, then she started sleeping on her own. Then I got pregnant when she was 18 months old and she started sleeping with me again so that I could sleep because I felt SO AWFUL the first 4 months of pregnancy. We're pretty much back to square one with her co-sleeping again. It is fine because she does sleep the whole night and is fun to cuddle with. But that is New Year's Resolution #2, to get her back into the big girl bed.

Ava, on the other hand, is not so fun. Up until Christmas traveling, she would co-sleep with me and wake just once a night to nurse. It was great. After Christmas traveling? Not so great. She's now in a cycle of wanting to nurse to sleep, every couple of hours. And she's not even hungry! She just nurses on top of nursing, causing her to spew. It is gross and frustrating.


I'm gathering advice/suggestions for any mom who's baby breastfed or currently breastfeeds.

What did you do to encourage sleeping through the night?

Did you allow any crying? How long? I do not believe in cry-it-out but I know that a little crying is not harmful emotionally or physically.

Did it take several days or weeks to teach your baby to sleep on his/her own?

Ava refuses a pacifier and will suck her thumb usually, but not always. Once she gets ticked off (ie. total red face furious) then calming her down takes forever.

I am just as clueless with baby #2 as I was baby #1! *sigh*

Can't tape the thumb in, I know

This is what lack of sleep does to a girl

Just call her Dazey

Monday, January 01, 2007

Mixed Messages

Bella: "Mama, I am soooo anry!"

Me: You're angry? Why?

Bella: "Becus you my BES FRIEND!"

Later that same day...

Bella: * sighs*

Me: What is it, honey?

Bella: "Ahmstar fintodet"

Me: Excuse me?

She dramatically throws herself against the pillows on the couch.

Bella: "Ahmstar fintodet"

Me: Okay. Seriously. What ARE you saying?

Bella, exasperated: "I AM STARFIN TO DET!"

Me: You are starving to death?

She giggles and pretends to go to sleep.