Wednesday, January 03, 2007

No Rest For The Weary

I beg of me help her.

With Isabella, we co-slept until she was about 13 months old, then she started sleeping on her own. Then I got pregnant when she was 18 months old and she started sleeping with me again so that I could sleep because I felt SO AWFUL the first 4 months of pregnancy. We're pretty much back to square one with her co-sleeping again. It is fine because she does sleep the whole night and is fun to cuddle with. But that is New Year's Resolution #2, to get her back into the big girl bed.

Ava, on the other hand, is not so fun. Up until Christmas traveling, she would co-sleep with me and wake just once a night to nurse. It was great. After Christmas traveling? Not so great. She's now in a cycle of wanting to nurse to sleep, every couple of hours. And she's not even hungry! She just nurses on top of nursing, causing her to spew. It is gross and frustrating.


I'm gathering advice/suggestions for any mom who's baby breastfed or currently breastfeeds.

What did you do to encourage sleeping through the night?

Did you allow any crying? How long? I do not believe in cry-it-out but I know that a little crying is not harmful emotionally or physically.

Did it take several days or weeks to teach your baby to sleep on his/her own?

Ava refuses a pacifier and will suck her thumb usually, but not always. Once she gets ticked off (ie. total red face furious) then calming her down takes forever.

I am just as clueless with baby #2 as I was baby #1! *sigh*

Can't tape the thumb in, I know

This is what lack of sleep does to a girl

Just call her Dazey


Aileara said...

She is absolutely gorgeous. Good luck.

tallulah said...

Oh boy! I wish I had some easy answers for you. I was a Mom that wouldn't (and still doesn't..I know, I know, I'm a wimp) let Izzy cry it out. Plus, I nursed every two hours round the clock till Izzy was 11 months old.
There are people that have perfectly well behaved children that go to sleep after you put them in bed, but those are usually the people that were rigid about bedtimes when their babies were young and allowed them to cry it out.
Some days I wish I would have been one of those cry-it-out Mom's, but then I would have missed out on all that cuddling!
Good luck...oh, and I love the pictures. She is such a cutey!

Jennboree said...

*sigh* See, that's how I am too, Tallulah. I never let Bella cry. I still don't! I can't stand it. That has led to STILL being asked if she sleeps with if it is so bad! They are little for such a short time.

My sister pointed out that I should do what works for Ava and our family. I imagine that's the best advice I could be given. But there are days where I feel like Ralph Kramden...TO THE MOON, AVA, TO THE MOON!... :)

louann said...

hi =) i came across your blog and read your most recent entry. I know you don't know me but i just felt that a couple of lines of encouragement would help a bit -- i hope.
It truly is draining and frustrating but I believe that the little one will eventually get over that. It may be a stage or maybe she is just adjusting to being back home. I co-slept with my older son until he was 2. And my younger one is now 7 motnhs and still sleeps with me.
Hope this helps.

Jennboree said...

thank you, angeljet! That does make me feel better. I guess I lose perspective now and then. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you will again :)

louann said...

i think the picture of your daughter sucking her thumb is sooooooooo cute!!!!!!

T-girl said...

How could something so cute be such a rebelrouser (I would show you a pict of my Baby J at this moment if I could! LMAO)

How is it you have the EXACT post I was thinking of putting up from the "contimplative" what do I do when I get pregnant agian.

My little one was like that the first few months, I hate to say this but it wasn't until I stopped nursing her that we were able to stop this completely! :( One thing I found did work was possitioning, there was ONE possition that ALWAYS worked, I have no idea why but I would cuddle her up into that possition and she would dooze back off with no nursing (seriously, it was almost like I was enveloping her... maybe I just smothered her out! LMAO). NOW, I ALSO had "the couch!" Even today, if she won't sleep... for whatever reason if I cuddle her up on the couch she will drop right off. The only thing I can think is that is is a bit softer so when I lay on my side she is snuggled in a bit more. What ever it is, it helps!

I am so glad I am not alone. I swear I want to beat every person who says "you are ruining that child!" Honestly... I think that is bs and I have gotten irritated enough to find a buttload of studies to back up my claim! LOL

NOW, that being said, since I just gave up my secrets... tell me yours... how do I get my kid to sleep in her bed. Crying it out is one thing but my kid will litterally cry for HOURS, no matter HOW tired she is and NOT sleep! Horriable, I am sorry but I do not think that is healthy, it is one thing is she gets upset for 10 minutes but HOURS (I mean HOURS here people, I have gotten tough a few times and was SHOCKED as the clock ticked past two hours)??? So... help ME... any ideas that may work or have worked for you in the past?! LMAO

Girlie said...

I'm with Tallulah in this one. It's hard for me to relax when one of my babies cries, especially when they're less than 12 months old.

How often do you hold Ava? Coz, maybe she's associating it with cuddling...

I am one of those mothers who doubled up as pacifier. My babies wouldn't take pacifiers, they have me already.

That means feeding on demand, and basically having no real life outside breastfeeding.

Those parents who's rigid/firm about bedtime? I am not one of those. I like having my kids around, except for when I don't want to have kids around.

I am not a big help on this Jenn. I just hold and hold and feed and feed my baby.

Other times, if he's still crying when I am holding him, I put him in his crib and sometimes they stop, coz even babies need space. The other times, he just loves to be held.

He specially loves to be held when I have to do something. Otherwise he's fine with leaving me by myself. Your baby's so huggable!

Jennboree said...

T-Girl...actually to help Bella who never slept in a crib anyway, I put a mattress on the floor of her room with a rail (hey it is just as jolting to fall a foot!) and lay with her until she slept. Took about a month but then she slept through the night and could get up without hurting herself. I also shut her door and kept it fairly dark to discourage playing at 3am.

Shoshana...that makes perfect sense about the cuddling. I do hold Ava alot. Though she takes all naps in her swing or boppy.

We can't really OVER LOVE our babies, right? :)

T-girl said...

Jen... that is a great idea... why didn't I think of that??? Thank you I will try it!!!

Hugs- T

ALE said...

I'm a first time visitor here, just clicked over from T-girls blog and first want to say, Beautiful daughter you have!

Now, as for the sleeping, I am a huge wimp. HUGE! I have 2 sons, both with birthdays coming up and turning 4 and 2. I nursed them both on demand and couldn't stand to let them cry it out. At 10 months my hubby and I finally tried crying #1 out and it took 1 night with 10 minutes of crying. This convinced me it was the right time for him (I cried more than him). Then I got pregnant when he was about 15 months and shortly after that he'd had enough of alone sleep and climbed out of the crib and it was all down hill from there.
About a month ago he finally started to get himself to sleep. One of our dogs, Walter (black lab) sleeps at the end of his bed with him and that has helped tremendously. He does come in our bed in the middle of the night still but I don't even know about it until about 6am so I figure it's all fine.
With #2 he was an excellent sleeper for a long time. I would lay him down asleep and he'd sleep a good 12 hours straight wihtout a peep. Then at about 15/16 months he climbed out of the crib, hurt himself and I didn't have the heart to battle that out and no crying out either.

I'm pregnant with number 3 and I keep telling hubby that we need to get them both sleeping through the night, ALL NIGHT, before this baby comes in June. But what I'm really thinking is, we need to invest in a king sized bed because things are getting crowded in the queen.

The way I see it is when they are 16 years old (and *sigh* probably sooner) I'll be lucky if those boys let me in their room let alone have a conversation with me so I am trying to charrish this time even if I am exhausted the next day!

Your sister is right, you have to do what's right for your family. Nothing bad will come of you cuddling her a bit longer and letting her sleep with you. If anything she will grow up to be a confident and affectionate woman.

Wow, on my first visit I've gone crazy. LOL Sorry!

RockerMom said...

Hi Jenn, it sounds like the Christmas chaos could have thrown her off balance. If she is eating just to eat, then it's just a matter of finding out something else that with soothe her (I know, easier said than done!) I only nursed The Boy for a month so I'm not much help in that area, although he slept through the night for the first time around 12 weeks. At that point I knew he could make it all night without eating, but sometimes the habit reared its head and I found myself up at 3am again. In those cases I would go in his room but not pick him up, just rub his back and soothe him for a minute or two. I tried to set the tone that "Mommy hears you but it's night time." He quickly realized that "oh yeah, I don't have to eat," and he'd go back to sleep. I think it's just a matter of replacing one habit with another. Things like holidays really can mess with babies schedules, so try and hang in there. I don't think crying it out is bad either, and Ava is approaching 4 months??? I think by 4-5 months it starts being more of a teaching tool. Anything younger than 4 months I say do whatever they want! Good luck, throwing some sleepy dust your way!