My mom once told me that once you have children, you never ever stop worrying. Naturally, having my parents worry about me when I was younger was more annoying than appreciated.
What Mom didn't tell me is how irrational those fears can become!
I would imagine most pregnant women have over-the-top fears because we all know that absolutely anything can happen in those 9 months. Or we feared giving birth, not only for the baby's life but our own. Then of course the fears that baby wouldn't be healthy or perfect. We can mostly blame hormones for those panic attacks.
But what is with the constant dramatic "what-ifs" that pop into my head all the time?
What if I'm turning a corner while holding the baby and practically knock her head off on the door frame? Okay, done that. Twice.
What if I'm carrying my baby, I trip and lose grip of her only to watch helplessly as she rolls 2 feet away on the parking lot. Yeah, that happens in slow motion it turns out.
I'm constantly doing safety checks.
Is the knife block far enough back on the counter? Should I just do without knives for the next 10 years?
With all the perusing of the fridge Bella does, could she possibly pull it on top of her? Is she Mighty Mouse and I didn't know it?
Cribs are supposed to be safe but can I really leave Ava in there to play freely? Is there some crazy way she could get a limb yanked out of socket through the bars? I did the coke can test with them. Is that enough?
In the past if someone cut me off when I was driving, I would yell or make eye contact, cuz we all know that is intimidating. Now I'm afraid someone will pull a gun on me or my family. Someone needs to create a baby-in-the-vehicle force shield.
While I don't own one and don't plan to, I finally understand kid leashes. I've had Isabella disappear into the clothing rack and I nearly passed out in sheer panic until I heard her giggles from deep within toddler pj's.
Being in public, I constantly worry that someone is eyeing my children for the perfect opportunity to snatch one. While part of me thinks that is extreme, the other sees those creeps in the pedophile section of the paper or hears the horror stories in the news.
I know that I cannot protect my children forever but as long as they are dependent on me for their well-being, it is my job to be on constant surveillance. At home, in public, it is my job to protect them to the best of my ability.
However, I don't want to be That Mom who doesn't know when to chill and let her child venture from the nest a bit. Fortunately, I don't really have to face that challenge until fall when we attempt preschool again. I was pregnant with Ava the first go-around with Bella's school, so we'll see if that was hormonal or I'm just always a frantic freak.
What do you fear most? If you have more than one child now, what is it that you have maybe loosened your grip on?
** Please note: In reviewing this blog entry, I do hereby acknowledge that I am about due for the return of Woman Week as it has been 15+ months since the last one **