Monday, August 07, 2006

C-ing Is Believing

I have 7 weeks until baby will be delivered via c-section. I'm nervous, excited and scared.

This baby is definitely bigger than Isabella was at this point. Not sure how she does it, but she's almost transverse (sideways) though very much carrying in front. She will punch me in the hip on the left and stab me with her hands on the right hip with a good shove to the bladder for good measure. She's not head down either, which IS like Bella. Bella was pretty much sitting in my pelvis with no intention to budge even when we tried the external version to try and flip her.

I've been asked alot why I've decided to go ahead with a c-section. I'm the queen of online research especially when it comes to pregnancy, but I've been conflicted about my decision to choose a cesarean. Just like anything else, you can find pros and cons on any subject, all of which could potentially sway you one way or the other.

Many think a c-section is the "easy" way out. There is nothing easy about getting a spinal, numbing chest down, getting your belly cut and healing for weeks after. It is just completely different than delivering naturally. I'm perfectly aware that to deliver naturally would be better for baby in numerous ways. I'm also aware that statistics aren't clear on uterus eruption or other complications due to a previous c-section. After weeks of fretting and researching, the light bulb came on. Why don't I just ask my doctor why he prefers a c-section?

I have a wonderful OBGYN. He has been practicing for nearly 20 years and both his parents are physicians. He's cut-to-the-chase and more about his patients' well-being than his own pocketbook. All the nurses on his staff and at the hospital where I delivered Isabella say he's the best. I want professional, I don't need a friend when it comes to my baby or my health! That's why I chose him to deliver baby #2 as well.

I asked Dr. Read why he prefers a c-section after a previous one has been done. He said that he used to do 80% VBAC (natural birth after a c-section) but he saw far too many complications during delivery that resulted in emergency c-section to a stressed baby and mother or worse, death. He pointed out that even losing one baby in 100 in a VBAC attempt is too much. I agree! Every pregnancy is different, as is every delivery.

Then I remembered the couple we met four days before I had Bella. We went out for a final dinner before becoming a family of three. We were elated and frightened of the coming Wednesday when I'd have the surgery to deliver her. I'd never even been in the hospital and my imagination was elevated to a new level of worry for my baby. My husband was terrified he'd lose me. But that night we decided to focus on the excitement of a tiny new life.

The couple saw us taking pictures of each other and the woman asked if she could take one of both of us. Then we got to talking about our babies. It turned out that she'd given birth by c-section to her second baby just 2 months prior and this was their first night out. My husband and I immediately had diarrhea of the mouth about our concerns and fears. She was so kind and sweet in helping calm those fears. Her first child was born in emergency c-section, the second was scheduled. She highly recommended we do a c-section again if we had a second child. She was the same size as me prior to pregnancy and she healed very well both times.

Every decision we make as parents has potential to do harm. Be it physical, emotional or psychological. And those decisions start before our babies are even born! I now feel more confident about delivering this baby via c-section. I want her in the best of health and I'll deal with my own healing.

I think it boils down to what each parent feels is best for their child as well as themselves. We'll never please everyone but we're the ones who have to live with the choices we make. Now lets see if I'll hold such confidence over the rest of my parenting days :)

9 comments:

tallulah said...

Good for you for looking at both sides of the issue, obtaining facts and then making the right choice for YOU!

MomSquared said...

Hot topic here!

I actually had a doula my second time around and I still chose a C-section. She was wonderful about it even though normally she would be pushing VBACs. She knew I did my research and she supported my decision.

I had some extra risk factors, a stretched out uterus (from twins) and close pregnancies among them.

And emotionally, the idea of a VBAC just scares the shit out of me. 1% or 80%, it's scary.

I'm glad you've made a decision you feel comfortable with!

Jennboree said...

That's key too...a doctor or midwife willing to discuss all options and leave the decision up to you.

I never in a million years imagined a c-section with Isabella and beat myself up about it afterwards.

You're right though, 1% or 80%, a VBAC is scary as hell!

Amanda Sue said...

we don't have the option here - to have a VBAC, a woman has to travel to a hospital more equipped to handle high-risk deliveries.

i am kind of glad to not have to face that decision, but if i did, i would leave it up to my sister to do the research and give me advice on what to do. :)

i love you, and bella, and fiesty growing girl. can't wait to meet her!

Trinity13 said...

I'm having a schedule C-sec this time around as well. With my first, I was 10 days late and my son had yet to make the downward move. Plus, my doc thought he was big and with my tilted pelvis, she thought I would have a very long delivery that would prob end in a csec anyway...so we got to pick out my son's birthday.

This time they will take me a week early and I'm looking forward to seeing my little one that much sooner! My doc doesn't even want to attempt a vbac with all the complications. But I'm happy to have another csec. Yes, I end up with a huge bruise on my back from the shot and a permanent scar on my belly, but it was worth it. I healed very quickly and I look forward to having csections with at least one more child (after this one).

Anonymous said...

Hi, i was looking over your blog and didn't
quite find what I was looking for. I'm looking for
different ways to earn money... I did find this though...
a place where you can make some nice extra cash secret shopping.
I made over $900 last month having fun!
make extra money

Anonymous said...

Hi, i was looking over your blog and didn't
quite find what I was looking for. I'm looking for
different ways to earn money... I did find this though...
a place where you can make some nice extra cash secret shopping.
I made over $900 last month having fun!
make extra money

Kandace Groenewegen said...

I can't tell you the perfect timing of your post. I almost cried when I read it. I had just returned from an ultrasound where I was kind of made to feel like an uncaring parent because I ONLY wanted them to check what they needed to check (it took 3 minutes), not do a 1/2 hour exam. Paranoid, I know, but in my books the least amount of 'high frequency sound waves' that go through the baby the better!!
Good luck with all your huge decisions and I can't wait to see pics of the newest addition!

Jennboree said...

Kandace,

Pregnancy is frightening enough without the added information out there to scare you more, huh?

*hugs* Glad my post had good timing for you :)