I'm not a girl's girl. I don't have a gaggle of girls that I like to hang out with. My best friend is my sister and my next best friend is Cathleen, Bella's best friend's mom (got that?). Most women get on my last ever-lovin nerve.
I've always been that way. One friend at a time. Low maintenance friends at that. Except with my sister, it is required we email/call every day or every other day. She helps keep me sane.
Tomorrow, I'm meeting some new women. Cathleen is making me do it. OKAY, she's not making me. It is an organization of stay-at-home moms who have playdates for their toddlers. But they also have a Girl's Night Out. Before Cathleen even finished her sentence about the GNO, I shot it down. Why?
It is far easier for me to mingle with moms when I have my kids with me. I feel like the focus is off of me or something. I don't think I'm all that but when I'm around a bunch of women, I feel like the intense white light of interrogation and judgement is upon me. But I have no idea what I think they are judging me on!
Granted, alot of women are snippy, catty and clustered together in their little groups with an invisible shield up for no intruders. I've seen this at Bella's gym class, her school and on the playground.
But that's me judging them, isn't it.
For whatever reason, when I enter the vacinity of a group of women, I get all verklempt. If all eyes are on me when someone asks a question, I turn bright red and words dribble out of my mouth like I'm on heavy medication.
I guess you could say I'm socially inept with females. However, I can hang with my husband's friends or socialize at his work functions like a superstar. I enjoy mingling with his co-workers or laughing at the endlessly retold stories by his friends. And I have no problem when those friends happen to have a girlfriend that week.
So what's the deal? Increasingly I hear how important it is to have women in our life. That it is supposed to keep us grounded to have that GNO.
Am I missing out on this big secret to happiness as a woman? Am I unfulfilled and didn't know it?
I know that I'm smart, funny and delightful to be around. My mama tells me so. Now that I'm a mama too, do I have to start being a girl's girl?
** UPDATE **
It went well! I really liked the "host mom" and a couple of others. When it got too gossipy I would just take Ava over to play with different kids. Bella was a bit sensitive but she only knew one child and overall she adjusted really well with a complimentary toddler fit when it was time to leave.
I have to say though with the way those 10 kids could tear up a house, I don't think I'll volunteer my home just yet!