Tuesday, October 09, 2007

What's Mine Is Mine, What's Hers Is Mine.

Love is patient and love is kind. Unless you are three and one.

Ava had a fun birthday party on Saturday, complete with balloons, birthday cake and sugar rushes. Bella had a great time trying on all of Ava's new clothes and playing with her new toys.

We've officially begun the lifelong journey of learning to share.

Being a firstborn, I try hard to keep in mind what it's like, rather than get completely frustrated, when Bella kicks her little sister out of her room. Or yells at the 21-pounder for wallowing all over her before she's had her wake-up milk.

Explaining repeatedly that Ava gets first dibs on her own toys or that Bella has to share HER toys within reason is exhausting. Bella simply sees no reason for either.

Beyond sharing things, I work daily to share myself with the girls. I have to remind myself of the emotions that come with being the oldest. There are more expectations with the older child which can result in frustration and jealousy of the little one being canoodled while big sis has to fend for herself more. The balance of teaching Isabella independence yet allowing her to be snuggly and needful is very important to me. And her.

So that brings me to my questions:

What rank, if any, are you in the sibling order?

What have you liked most and least about your place in the birth line?

What, if anything, do you wish your parent(s) had done differently with you and/or your siblings?

Did your parent(s) do anything special just for you?

My husband is an only child and the addition of Ava to the family has already been an eye-opening, amazing experience for him. There's no such thing as a perfect parent, but we strive to be good parents. Our goal is to raise healthy, happy, kind and giving children. The dramatic flair both girls possess is just pink icing on the cake!


Amanda Sue said...

oh, i am second. middle. middling. average. mediocre.

that is me. always sharing. never first, never last. always sharing a blasted bedroom with someone.

even now!

Jennboree said...

Well at least you got to choose the person to share a room with this time! And I guess you are sharing your womb as well. *snort*

Nothing mediocre about you, sweets. And your husband is closer to middle than you. HAHA. Sorry, Daniel. 30 hurts.

Dr. J said...

I'm the youngest and that has made me bossy compared to my sister who is sweeter and has a easier personality. But I know what you mean about being worried about telling the older baby to be the older one when she's really still a baby too.

Golly your kids are adorable in those pics! Ava looks cute and annoyed.

louann said...

Am an only child. Very different issues.

I can relate. Exactly the same way with my 2 boys. We try to be extra careful so as not to allow the older one to start harbouring ill feelings towards the little one. For 4 1/2 years, my older one was the star of the show.

T-girl said...

I am all... don't ask it is a long story! For all intesive purposes I am mostly a loner until 8 then a hlaf sister who is 8.5 years younger then me came along so we don't follow the normal rules of child line up because of the age gap.

That being said, in my house SHE was QUEEN bee and I was her peon. If she wanted it, no one seemed to care that she was encrouching on ME and MY space. Because of that I am very concious of that with Joci. That does NOT mean she is allowed to do whatever she wants however, if she wants her toys on the shelf instead of the toy box, well what is the point fighting over it, at least she puts them away.

I am sure that made no sense. My husband was the oldest and only boy in a hispanic family, the fact that his sisters still speak to him is amazing to me to be honest. He use to lock them in the house after school so he could go play with his friends while they cleaned the house and he took credit for it!!! LMAO