This weekend I got to hang out with some adults. It was great! Except I realized that I have no social skills anymore.
I'm lucky to get it out that my name is Jennifer without stumbling over my words. What's up with that? Is it because I've spent the last year using one to four word sentences, repeatedly?
It was my husband's office party. At the millionaire boss's house. And then that millionaire's zillionaire boss came by. I had NO IDEA who the man was. All I know is that people whispered "Mr. McIntyre is here!" and I thought, wow, he must be well-liked. Then this short man with bad teeth and a very expensive suit came to greet us, pretty much asking who the hell my husband is.
They've actually met once before, about two weeks after my husband started with the company, which was Sept 05. He asked my husband at that time how much he'd sold, my husband laughed and said "nothing yet!" and the zillionaire walked away. Well, my husband has had a great '06 and once he realized it, Mr. M was all friendly, smiley and hand-shakey. His little wife with big Dallas hair was just as pleased as punch to meet us. She was very sweet and kept talking to us long after Mr. M dismissed us from his presence.
So the whole night, if anyone even mentioned my children, they got stuck with toddler and infant stories. The whole time I'm going on about Ava's coos and Bella's adventures as a Wonder Pet, my inner voice is screaming at me to shut up. But my inner mother apparently just put it in time-out cuz I kept blabbing on.
This weekend is a smaller office party, without anyone who has money worth mentioning. I'm trying to learn how to better conduct myself. Any suggestions?
Like:
How do you walk away from a conversation that's dwindled to both people quietly seeking an exit from it?
How do you keep from glazing over when they're all discussing the big client they just bagged?
Where do you put your used plate? Do you put the fork on it? Do you hang on to your drink glass or can I permanent marker my name on it?
HELP ME!
6 comments:
Sorry can't really help. However, I tend to go to the bathroom--a lot if I start to feel trapped.
I'm not into parties with strangers myself.
Sorry can't really help. However, I tend to go to the bathroom--a lot if I start to feel trapped.
I'm not into parties with strangers myself.
a) "excuse me! I must go refill my drink," works every time to get you out of the awkward conversation. Of course, "wow, this is awkward. How about we both walk away now and no one will know the difference," is a lot more fun.
b) figure out who the client is and then try to remember if you know anyone who actually works for that client. Orrrr ... drink more.
c) Used plate goes down whereever all the other used plates are. Don't be shy about starting your own used plate pile, either. Fork on the plate. (or in your bag. but only if it's silver.) Get a new glass with every new drink.
;-)
Take fork.
Insert in eye.
Vow not to go to next year's party.
My favorite conversation-ending line ever came from an episode of Seinfeld, in which Elaine was trying to disentangle herself from a neverending conversation with a newly engaged woman who droned on and on about her fiance. Here it is, delivered in a really bad Southern accent:
"Maybe the dingoes ate yo baby!"
Probably best if saved for desperate circumstances.
Me- you- right there! If the conversation revolves around anything besides kids I stare like a deer in the headlights! I am so socially enept anymore and it bothers me, I am so glad I am not alone.
Funnily enough hubby had his X-mas party last friday and all of us "SAHM" ended up at a table in a corner showing off our cell phone picts. Tell me that is not sad! LMAO At least we didn't have to discuss something that may tax our already over burdened brains! LMAO
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