So we went to the country this weekend. We've been going alot lately because my husband's 82 year old grandmother had back surgery and needed help around the house while she healed.
I love the country. In theory.
The clean, crisp morning air. The soothing sound of the tree leaves rustling in the gentle breeze as I sit on the porch swing with my littlest one before everyone else awakes for the day. Fresh garden vegetables and Granny's famous homemade jelly on her superb buttermilk biscuits.
Then I look over to my left and there's a huge spider. I hate spiders. My skin starts to crawl and I get the uncontrollable willies.
I look behind me and there's the world's most GIANT FREAKIN SPIDER. It is white with brown and black stripes. It's body is at least the size of a large marble. It's legs are a good two inches long. Yes, in the milli-second that I saw that spider and went into willies convulsions, that is what seared into my brain.
The rest of the weekend I was on spider patrol. It didn't help much when Bella woke up and said she saw a big BIG spider in the sky when she looked out the window.
It appears I've passed on this unfortunate reaction to God's gross creatures to my oldest daughter. She doesn't reserve the willies just for spiders. It also applies to grasshoppers. Like the one in Granny's kitchen we were all cooing over and having a great nature moment with. Until it jumped on her.
Isabella immediately screamed in sheer horror, began running in place and the willies overtook her tiny body. Everyone at the table stiffled their laughter but I immediately understood her reaction and held her close to me, trying to calm her and convince her the grasshopper just wanted to say hello.
Her hero, Daddy, captured the grasshopper in his hand and together they walked outside to set him free.
Bella had a good five minute conversation with the grasshopper no longer in her personal space way out there in the field.
"Goodbye, Mr Grasshopper! Your family is waiting for you! Eat a good breakfast! I hope to see you next time but don't jump on me, ohay, Mr. Grasshopper?"