Thursday, May 15, 2008

The LYOCBWS Law

I think I should approach Congress about a Leave Your Other Children Behind When Shopping law. Not only for other shoppers' sake, but the mother and her little outlaws.

It is hard enough shopping for groceries with one child, but taking TWO kids under the age of 4 to a dress shop? I was and it was insane.

Husband has his annual company retreat this Friday night. That means it is super sassy involving tricked up drinks and unrecognizable tiny food. I haven't bought a new dress in probably 4 years. (Yikes, writing that makes me sound even more pathetic!)

With time crunching on me, I dragged my poor darlings to Dillard's. And Banana Republic, followed by Ann Taylor. Then I gave up and took them somewhere I could bribe them with toys. TJ Maxx.

I don't believe in child leashes, or child muzzles, but yesterday both would've been helpful. I don't think I ever tried on a dress completely. I was too busy dragging tiny bodies from under the dressing room stalls or curtains. Every time Ava would see my dress start to come off, she'd screech out "Mama Meeyuk!" Bella wanted to chat with the dressing room attendants about the clothes, which meant she was peeking outside the stall every nano-second, leaving everyone privy to my half-dressed self.

CRAZY.

I made it through. Even long enough to zoom in on some super cute patent leather heels. However, I told Husband that if he wants me to look like a normal human being tomorrow evening, he'd better work a half day to keep the monkeys at bay.

I will definitely have some cheese with that wine! :)

6 comments:

cori said...

LOL! What a great visual picture you painted. The task you just completed is much harder than any presentation given to a room full of adults with much more stress than taking your drivers test at 16 and requires much more patience than trying to talk to someone who doesn't speak your same language. Just the fact that you found a dress at all is a feat of heroism. And then you go and score a bonus finding shoes on the fly. This just means one thing - you are going to rock at this party! I hope you have a blast!

T's Pink Gloves said...

Hell I think it should be a law for ONE let alone more then one!!!! I feel your pain, I went bra shopping the other day.... yeah, some poor man who had the misfortune to be sitting there, rather impatiently with a toddler of his own (smart thinking btw of THAT woman, although he still dumped the kid in the dressing room much to the glee of the child) had the misfortune of looking up just as I let the girls out from the dungeon torture device that Vanity was calling a bra!!! Imagine the look on my face, not to meantion his, as he looked up to see what I was screaching at as Joci opened the dressing room door. As my eyes met his in the mirror I knew why some animals eat their young! Needless to say he saw WAY more then he bargined for, he was quick to say he would meet his wife in Men's wear as he scurried away! I think I may have scared him for life!!! I finally bribed her to "help" by taking all discarded bra's off the hangers and asking her to hang them up for me!!! God bless her need to organize (still not sure where that one came from) because it saved me from some serious jail time!!!!

Hope you are having a blast at the party (it is Friday night now- I hope you have guzzeled enough funny drinks by now to have forgotten the "relaxing trip.") and look nothing less then a million bucks!!!!!

Michelle said...

Proud of your effort!
You could just do what I threatened my husband with what I was going to do...just buy anything I like and take them all home to try them on and see which ones I liked... and then return the ones that didn't fit or didn't look right. Now he offers to watch them for me. :)

Us said...

This is totally off topic but I am thinking about weaning the twins from "the twins". Not sure if you have stopped nursing yet, but any tips would be totally appreciated! Aliina

Jennboree said...

Heck no, we haven't weaned. In fact, she's been on a nursing binge as of late. *sigh*

Someone needs to create an oral or topical application that makes the milk or boobies taste nasty!

Jan said...

It almost seems like they know you are entertaining the thought of weaning because all of a sudden they nurse like it's their last time. How do they know?!! We are in the midst of the worst family cold ever, not a good time to stop.