Puff Jenny

Yesterday, during a wonderful performance of

Something Imaginary by Isabella,

a cute little bumblebee maraca flew into my face.

This morning, the teacher got a sobbing,

wailing, oops-she-peed-on-the-floor-so-sorry Bella

plus her mother looking like this:

I'm wondering if Ms Woodsen will ask Bella later

today what happened to her mama or

if she'll just conclude that we are fully dysfunctional.

**UPDATE**

Nobody told me that two days later it

would hurt like a mofo and look like this!

I know, I know. POOR ME!

Gonna Eat Alotta Peaches

So we went to the country this weekend. We've been going alot lately because my husband's 82 year old grandmother had back surgery and needed help around the house while she healed.

I love the country. In theory.

The clean, crisp morning air. The soothing sound of the tree leaves rustling in the gentle breeze as I sit on the porch swing with my littlest one before everyone else awakes for the day. Fresh garden vegetables and Granny's famous homemade jelly on her superb buttermilk biscuits.

Then I look over to my left and there's a huge spider. I hate spiders. My skin starts to crawl and I get the uncontrollable willies.

I look behind me and there's the world's most GIANT FREAKIN SPIDER. It is white with brown and black stripes. It's body is at least the size of a large marble. It's legs are a good two inches long. Yes, in the milli-second that I saw that spider and went into willies convulsions, that is what seared into my brain.

The rest of the weekend I was on spider patrol. It didn't help much when Bella woke up and said she saw a big BIG spider in the sky when she looked out the window.

It appears I've passed on this unfortunate reaction to God's gross creatures to my oldest daughter. She doesn't reserve the willies just for spiders. It also applies to grasshoppers. Like the one in Granny's kitchen we were all cooing over and having a great nature moment with. Until it jumped on her.

Isabella immediately screamed in sheer horror, began running in place and the willies overtook her tiny body. Everyone at the table stiffled their laughter but I immediately understood her reaction and held her close to me, trying to calm her and convince her the grasshopper just wanted to say hello.

Her hero, Daddy, captured the grasshopper in his hand and together they walked outside to set him free.

Bella had a good five minute conversation with the grasshopper no longer in her personal space way out there in the field.

"Goodbye, Mr Grasshopper! Your family is waiting for you! Eat a good breakfast! I hope to see you next time but don't jump on me, ohay, Mr. Grasshopper?"

Schoolyard Brawl - Toddler Style

Bella has an ongoing issue with a little girl she calls "Mad Girl."

It started when the little girl was swinging (don't these things always start over a swing?) and Bella wanted a turn. Now, granted, I am getting Bella's version of this which makes her out to be the kind, generous playground angel.

Bella says she asked the girl if she could swing, the girl said "No!" and pushed her. With her feet. While swinging. Sounds to me like Bella was standing in front of her and just happened to be in the way of simple swinging procedure preceded by an emphatic "No!" to her request.

However, Bella has since called her Mad Girl. She mentions her every day that she's gone to the playground.

Yesterday, she said that she yelled at Mad Girl. I asked what was said.

"I told her she's not friendly and I AM FRIENDLY!"

We apparently have to work on tone and delivery when one is supposed to be more friendly than her opponent.

I find it very interesting that, like her mother, early on Bella prefers friendships with boys as opposed to girls. She says her best friends are Mitchell and Gavin. She does have a little friend and cousins who are girls but for some reason at school she has boy pals. And what's funny is that everything about Bella screams Uber Girly! The apple didn't fall far from that tree.

I'm just trying to find enough excuses to beg out of another Girls Night Out tomorrow evening.

I am friendlier than YOU!!!

Conversations with a 3 Year Old

Bella's peering behind the couch and I hear a muffled question, "Mama, how did that big bug fly back here?"

I tell her that I have no idea. She stares at it some more then says, "I think it went to heaven. That means it got dead."

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Tuesday Bella was a very big girl and stayed for lunch as well as naptime on the condition that she would NOT have to actually sleep.

When I got there to pick her up, they of course had to wake her.

On the way home she was very excited to talk about her day, announcing proudly, "And I laid there but I DIDN'T SLEEP!"

Okey-doke, pumpkin. You really showed us.

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Bella's going to a Christian school and unfortunately, she refuses to sing "Jesus Loves Me" correctly, thanks to a little doll from China that sings it like a valley girl.

Her version? Jesus loves her because the bottle tells her SOooOooOoo.

I may get an eyebrow raised from the teacher on that one.

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While traveling to the country, we got pulled over for speeding on the highway. As I was giving my best annoyed eye roll to hubby, Bella was evaluating the situation.

"Daddy, it is NOT very safe for that man to stand in the street!"

Hubby agreed and explained that he was driving too fast and the police officer just wanted to tell him to slow down.

Bella pondered that for about a nano-second, then said, "Well, it still isn't very safe to stand in the street. Will you tell him?"

Eh. No. We're just going to take our ticket and go about our merry slow way.

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Ahhhh...the wonderful world of three.

Never lacking in imagination or drama.