The ABC's on Me

A is for Age - *cough*32*cough*
B is for Booze - Not much of a boozer...do like Vodka & 7-up with cherry juice and two cherries.
C is for Cookie you crave - Pepperidge Farm, any cookie
D is for Dating tip you'd give your son or daughter - Boys are YUCKY (till you're 25)
E is for Essential items to bring to a party - With our friends? Booze
F is for Favorite song at the moment - "I'm Gonna Love You" by some country dude
G is for Goof off thing to do - play horsey with daughter
H is for Hometown - Nacogdoches, Texas
I is for Instrument you play - HAHAHAHA
J is for Jam or Jelly you like - Jelly...blackberry
K is for Kids - Isabella, age 11 mos, currently residing on hip
L is for Living arrangement - Husband, daughter, three dogs, two cats and Lenny the lizard who resides outside
M is for Mom’s name - Eleonore. Get it right. It isn't Elener, Elanor, Ellen, or Eleanor (what Amanda said)
N is for Name of first crush - Kirk Cameron. Yeah, I know.
O is for Overexposed celebrity? - Paris Hilton. Even writing her name is just wrong.
P is for Phobias - I hate leaving dark rooms. I leave them by leaping frantically.
Q is for Quote you like - "Life is what you make it"
R is for Relationship that lasted longest - Relationship or prison sentence?
S is for Siblings - Lil' sis, baby bro. Both are wonderful, though smartass, adults.
T is for Texas, ever been? - Texas born, baby!
U is for Unique trait - I can draw realistically but cannot draw imaginary.
V if for Vegetable you love - Potatoes! Any way except potato salad...barf
W is for Worst trait - I hate being focused on in a room full of people. Room full of people means more than one other person.
X - is for Xtra Credit, did you ever do it in school? - Attempted, that's about it.
Y is for Yummy food you make - 7-Up pound cake. You feel thepounds adding on with each bite!
Z is for Zodiac sign - Scorpio...so watch out!

Who's birthday is it anyway?

I'm planning my daughter's 1 year birthday party and it is quickly escalating to a debutante ball-like occasion.

Originally there were to be a few friends and family. People Isabella has seen at least twice in her 12 months of life. Now it has grown to include people that I have maybe met twice in MY lifetime. How do I reign it in?

For example, our neighbor's husband was killed last week, he's a trucker, and we went to visit the wife and extend our condolences as well as a casserole (a first-time recipe casserole so she'll either hate us or love us for it). Upon leaving and among hugs of grievance, my husband spews "Isabella is 1 next month, you'll come to the party won't you?". There were far too many strange eyes in that room for me to shoot him The Look, so I just tried to send frantic ESP messages to his brain. No such luck. So that's at least 5 more people to the party (she has a child and a sister with two children living with her).

Now I'm having to practice a breathing technique similar to that I learned in childbirth class that never got put to use. How do I stop the madness? There's Hubby's friend who doesn't like children but has a new girlfriend we've never met and only till recently thought didn't exist. And an aunt who's one of the least nice people on earth but is hub's mom's sister.

So...who's birthday party is this for? I'm thinking it is not for my sweet one year old who just wants to dig into cake and feed it to Mommy after she's rubbed her snotty nose with it.

I guess birthday parties for babies are really for adults. So we can eat sugary treats, drink the best pink ice cream punch and open gifts for which Isabella could care less.

Strange Obsession

Do you have obsessions that sometimes weird you out? I do.

For example, I'm not much of an overachiever EXCEPT when it comes to illness or healing. When I had the surgery to deliver Isabella, I couldn't be more proud when I was told I was healed at two weeks and could do just about anything including sex (like THAT would happen) instead of at six weeks. Just knowing that I could made me gloat. Okay, looking back on it, I guess that was more of a torture to the hubby than an accomplishment.

When Bella and I had our tumble in the gravel, the ER doc said I'd be hurting for 5-7 days and to stay off my feet that long. I was back on my feet in TWO days and didn't need the crutches after day one. I was even going to see if the hospital would buy the crutches back!

Then, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. The dentist gave me his pager in case there were complications (pshaw!) over the weekend. All was going beautifully, heading towards my usual swift recovery when somebody...I won't name names, I'll just look up to the heavens...decided to teach me a lesson. It took nearly a month for one of the blasted holes to heal. Did I ever call the dentist? Heck no!

I've always been proud, sadly enough, that I had never been admitted to a hospital or had an IV of any kind prior to Isabella. Since my beautiful child came to existence, I've been to the ER three times, had IV's twice and prescribed Vicodin thrice. Is this how its going to be now? Well, if so, then my new obsession is to see how early in each year I can meet insurance deductible.

WHO is Pedro??

And why should I vote for him?

Is he on American Idol? Did he run for mayor in California? Is it a secret code word for pot?

I've seen many people wear t-shirts that say Vote For Pedro. One such person was on the Country Music Awards show last night as a presenter. Yes, I stopped for a moment on CBS to watch the CMA though quickly regained sanity and flipped back to Gilmore Girls for mass confusion of conversations at break-neck speed.

SO...who is Pedro? Inquiring minds wanna know!

WHO is Pedro??

And why should I vote for him?

Is he on American Idol? Did he run for mayor in California? Is it a secret code word for pot?

I've seen many people wear t-shirts that say Vote For Pedro. One such person was on the Country Music Awards show last night as a presenter. Yes, I stopped for a moment on CBS to watch the CMA though quickly regained sanity and flipped back to Gilmore Girls for mass confusion of conversations at break-neck speed.

SO...who is Pedro? Inquiring minds wanna know!

Hick Hop??

Are you kiddin me?? Did I just clue in to this new genre or has it existed and I've blocked it out until recently?

I saw "Cowboy Troy" singing about playing chicken with a train and had to DVR the video for my husband to view and know that I wasn't making it up.

Am I to like this? What happened to good ol' country music? Willie? George? Martina?

Am I getting old?

Is Shania Twain a country singer or just an opportunist with great abs?

Then again, what made Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray sell out and become *EGADS* co-host of Extra? Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke?

Must singers become actors, actors become singers and models do anything requiring speaking?

What's the world coming to? Hick Hop...that's what.

Now just watch...the Backstreet Boys will get back together...

Glad I'm from Venus

Men are strange creatures. Martians even. I'm sure you've heard the old complaint that women can't be understood. What about men?? Men aren't as complex as women, IMHO, but in their simplicity they tend to not make much sense.

Example: A friend is cheating on his wife with a girl they all grew up with and is a known ho. The friend also has a 2 yr old son with his wife. That should add to the gravity of the situation, right? I know all about the cheating but have been sworn to say nothing. So when I see the sweet and oblivious wife, I have to hope my eyes don't give it away that I'm hiding a secret from her. I hate it!

And the friend's argument for cheating in this instance? The wife hates sex and therefore the ever-sexual man must get it from SOMEWHERE.

As John Stossel would say, Gimme A Break!

First and foremost there's the health issue. What if the known ho is getting some elsewhere and said friend passes that on to wife?

What about the double-dipping? Could that BE more nasty? (lil' Chandler Bing for ya)

What if known ho gets pregnant and there's the problem of who's your daddy?

What if wife finds out that we all knew about her louse's disgusting infedelity?

I think if wife isn't having sex it is probably cuz the husband is a jackarse and there is far more than lack of sex to worry about. Women are emotional and that plays into every aspect of life.

So...I just asked my husband to not tell me anything anymore about the friend and I don't want to see friend or wife. I already have a hard time mustering up a smile for the cheater. Instead, I've warned husband of the great wrath that will come upon him should he ever decide to follow suit. *smile*

Borrowed Time

I have always had small boobies. Inherited from my mother's side. When I became newly single I seriously contemplated having implants. Yes, I know. Moment of insanity. Well, a month of insanity until I saw the procedure done on Discovery Channel.

Anyone who knows me also knows this procedure did not take place. Then...I had a baby and VIOLA! Boobs! Granted, I had gallon milk jugs the first 6 six weeks, but then they settled down to a lovely, firm and perky C cup. Oh, the delight! For the first time I could go without a bra and still look like a woman!

I must confess that while knowing my daughter is getting the best nutrients from nursing, blah, blah blah...I am enjoying my temporary boobies and it is partly why I continue to nurse. A downside, they are not for enjoyment for my husband. My daughter has taken care of any nerves that may have enjoyed anything. They do not care for special attention when baby is not snacking. NONE

But I digress. So while I've enjoyed my C cups, I know the day is nearing when they will shrink back to oblivion. The shrinking's begun, the firmness left a couple months ago and my days of braless wonder are numbered.

If every small chested woman could/would experience breastfeeding, there might be even more implant procedures done...as long as they don't watch Discovery Channel.

Family Dysfunction

Is there any family that doesn't have deep hidden secrets?

You can go your entire life thinking a particular relative hung the moon, only to find out there was an entire life he/she led that no one talked about...or maybe didn't find out about until years later. Or sometimes family keeps it a secret from you to protect you from ? thinking less of the person?

Should finding out those secrets change your perception or even affection for that person? Or does it merely mean we are all human and only God hung the moon?

I tend to think the secrets we all keep hidden in our proverbial closets are the layers of our soul. It explains who we were, who we are and what we could be or could've been. Life has so many intriguing twists and turns, generally due to choices we make. That's what makes free will so fascinating.

Now if only I can find a way to tell Amanda about my secret life as a Vegas showgirl...

Spiritual Overthinking

Do you ever find your mind wandering when praying? I have this problem. Not that I'm not focused on my prayer...but I begin to focus on being focused on prayer. I've always had this issue and I'm not sure how to stop it. I'll be praying earnestly and then I begin thinking about the prayer I'm sending up and wondering if it is clear, concise and unselfish. Then I forget where I was in the prayer, apologize to the Lord and begin again...only now I'm obsessed with my prayer delivery.

Am I the only one?

Don't even get me started on actual conversations with people. I think if I can just clear up the prayers with God, maybe I'll be able to carry a conversationwith a person without wandering off or focusing on their mole.

Crazy Eyes

Did anyone else notice the crazy eyes of the Runaway Bride from Georgia? As soon as I saw her pic (way to represent Jennifers) I wondered about her sanity. And they didn't look like pics necessarily leading up to her insane 600 invite wedding. Hopefully her family gave her an earful for letting the story go national for three days before deciding to call and lie about being abducted.

If she marries, she should wear white alright...a white straightjacket. The groom should wear one too if he goes ahead with it.