Back To Reality

Isabella has a fantastic imagination which thrills me and worries me at the same time.

As my mom and I've discussed my own childhood imagination, it was hard on me as well as her that I was such a daydreamer. Report cards generally had side notes about me being a good student except for spending so much time in LaLa Land.

Creative minds lead to wonderful things too. I am an artist, though out of practice other than drawing shapes and preschool artwork. I have always loved to read. I have big dreams of big things I'd like to do in life such as open a children's art studio in an old warehouse and hire local art institute students to teach.

On the other hand, a vivid imagination can be stressful or even frightening.

Since I was a child, I've gotten the heebie jeebies from leaving dark rooms or laying in bed in a very dark room. Kinda ridiculous since I always prefer to sleep in total darkness. I remember being a kid and laying in my parents' very large wooden CREEKY bed. I'd lay perfectly still, barely breathing, smack in the middle, covers up to my chin and tucked all in. I wouldn't look to the sides for fear of seeing the huge, gnarly green hand with thick yellow fingernails reaching for me. My heart would thud so loud I swear I could hear it. Then I'd begin to think that whatever was under the bed would just start stabbing at me from beneath the bed! Reigning that fear in long enough to doze off was often a challenge.

Sad part? I still get creeped out like that.

In recent months, I've been struggling spiritually. Questioning everything in and out of religion. Then one night as Ava snored sweetly next to me, I fell into a deep sleep only to be awakened by an incredible force pulling me. Not pulling my physical body but my soul. I fought it furiously with my mind but my body couldn't move. I was truly terrified. Then pissed. I yelled at it, "Let go of me, asshole!" Yeah, I cursed at an evil entity trying to swipe my soul.

When I was able to force myself to wake up, I was so scared I couldn't move for a moment which was even scarier. Finally I was able to snuggle up to my innocent baby girl, praying her precious spirit would protect me. Then I prayed mightily for forgivenes, for peace, for strength.

Now I'm not sure if it was imagination run amuck or literal come-to-Jesus moment for me. Either way, that night has me wondering/worrying if Bella will also experience the negative sides to creative thinking.

For now, it pleases me to see her twirl about the house pretending to be Peter Pan. She insists we address her as Peter Pan and that we don't ignore Tinkerbell who's always exactly where we aren't looking for her to be.

It is sweet and fun to pretend with my 3 year old. I want to continue to foster her imagination but I hope to also help her learn when to let go and return to reality.

Now I must go practice my air guitar lessons.

No Junk In The Trunk

When I got pregnant with Ava, I was 10 pounds heavier than when I was pregnant with Bella. May not seem like much to some but adding pregnancy weight to that, I thought surely I was doomed to forever wear 2 sizes bigger than what I'd been my whole life. Very traumatic.

A friend of mine started doing Weight Watchers. Her mother had joined and gave my friend all the info. She exercised (hahahaha..whew, the idea of doing that is friggin hilarious) and now she weighs what she did in high school. 123 lbs.

I KNOW!

When I'd had enough of the post-baby blubber, I asked her for help. She gave me all the WW materials for nursing moms and I began the diet immediately. I wouldn't even call it a diet. It is a change in the way I eat. I still snack all day. I eat chocolate and carbs. I just do it in moderation during the week, then lose my mind on the weekends. Sort of like college, but we won't go there.

Other diets nearly had me convinced that the WW diet was awful because you have to count points, when in fact it is so easy that I know in a nano-second how much I should or should not eat. 3 pts for a can of Coke or 3 pts for cookies? Eh, food please.

AND...I have lost 20 pounds. I've reached my goal!!

I highly recommend this diet. No, I'm not paid to say that though I'd surely accept payment in large bills, rolled not folded, faced the same way. WW is especially awesome for busy moms or nursing moms. Both of whom deserve a vacation from feeling like a beached whale.

However, if anyone can tell me where my butt went, I'm sure my husband would appreciate it.

*** Breaking News ***

Last night, Ava took her first steps free of any help.

She did it three times and was extremely proud of herself, squealing her delight,

while a little part of me was sad to see this huge milestone so soon upon us.

What's next, I ask. Reading?

Slow down, ladybug!

Razor Tooth Tiger

She is quick and quiet. She'll climb to her destination in a flash, teetering on the edge only for a moment before lunging forward to safety. She looks down, pleased with herself as she feeds on the crumbling tasty treat she'd come after.





She stops chewing and furrows her brow. A low growl begins. Then her tongue starts rolling around, in and out of her mouth, flicking bits of food all over herself. The growl is now louder then suddenly erupts into an ear-piercing screech as she rocks on all fours. She stops, smashes her gums together and grins, pleased that she made her sibling jump out of her skin.





Then she crawls over to her mother, demanding nature's snack. The mother protests. The growling begins again with the little one. She starts screeching again and as her mouth opens, the light bounces off what appears to be one tiny razor sharp tooth. The mother cringes and gives in, intent on weaning her little tiger sooner rather than later.

She'd Quit But Everyone Hates A Quitter

You mothers know your children. You can practically anticipate their next move or even thought! Then your child does something to remind you that he or she is a fantastic little individual and you should never underestimate her.

If you've been reading this blog for awhile then you know our struggle with Bella and her pacifier. The paci is Bella's vice, her smoke, her drink, her Godiva (yeah, it's mah weakness).

The dentist, who we've come to know better than her pediatrician these last two years, said that kids over age 2 with a pacifier become truly addicted to it. They believe they simply cannot sleep/survive without it. Sadly, with Bella, tis true.

So for the last 6+ months, we've been building up daily to her 3rd birthday. Rather, the week after her third birthday so she wouldn't always associate turning 3 with her parents ruining her life. (oh yes, drama of a 3 yr old equates to that of a tweenager)

Then she got sick. VERY sick. We thought she had a UTI but thank God the tests came back negative for it. Nevertheless, the week affectionately known as Hell Week, was set aside until she recovered.

Last night as I was tucking her into bed, she asked to sleep with me. I said no, she begged, pushed out a tear and I told her that she could sleep with me but NO PACI. She spit it out and trotted off to my bed all the while chatting about how much she loves me and I'm her best friend.

People, this child who's slept with a pacifier 95% of her life did not sleep with one last night.

Not a tear was shed. She didn't wake in the night asking for it. She woke up HAPPY!

I'm trying hard not to get too ahead of myself in thinking I can toss the Silicone Demon back to Satan but I am optimistic.

I don't care if she sleeps with me for the next 10 years if it means no more pacifier. Yes, you can remind me of that declaration when I'm complaining that my 13 yr old won't get her butt out of my back.

For now...victory for us all and a date with the playground for Bella.

When it was cute.

Who's Who At 9 Months

Let's play a little game.

Do you know which pictures are Bella and which are Ava?

They are both 9 months old when these were taken.

Most are easy but you may not know them all!

Bella never crawled. She tried for half a second then two weeks later began walking. So now that I have a crawler in the house, it has been fun as well as educational.

Ava can go from room to room at lightning speed. It is amazing! If I'm in the other room and she needs to find me (which is always, as of late), she'll wail "mamamama!" and bolt towards me, stopping only to eye a speck of leaf to determine if it is worthy of a taste before proceeding.

Ahhhh yes. Crawler's appetite. A walker looks for food bits on tables, toys or leftovers at their highchair's footrest. A crawler finds edibles in obscure places like corners, under the couch or behind furniture, smashing their cranium in awesome determination to retrieve a smidge of bug parts. They go out of their way for food inspection.

And Ava's learned the art of carrying something while crawling. She figured out quickly that it is uncomfortable to carry with one hand when crawling as it will crush fat fingers so she just puts it in her mouth. I have a human puppy.

She's quite pleased with her new skill. She's mastered it well and I don't know if she'll walk by ten months like big sister because Ava can high-tail it to her destination on all fours without injury (unless Mama puts a dress on her to trip on and smack her nose on the floor. Sorry, honeygirl!).

"They" say 50% of babies crawl. Guess that holds true in my house.

Go baby!