Go Get Your Pappy, Girl!

* WARNING*

This post is not intended for any male readers who may stumble onto this site or may be secret admirers of my fabulous writing skills.


Yesterday was a bit rough. I had 1 cm of my cervix removed for a biopsy. There's nothing quite like seeing part of your baby maker floating in a tiny cup.

Let me back up this story a bit.

About a month ago, I went to my OBGYN because I needed a birth control that would also control my nasty mood swings. (Not sure yet about the mood enhancer aspect as of yet) As is always the case for a wellness exam, I had a Pap smear done. No biggie, right? I've had those since I was a teenager.

The doc called me back in the next week. It was an abnormal Pap. Mmmkay. Still, no biggie.

Right?

Obviously, I know nothing about what a Pap is for or what the results mean. I'd never even given it much thought. Paps are just part of being a woman!

Dr. OBGYN did what is called a colposcopy, which is a procedure that allows the doctor to closely examine abnormal cells on my cervix. It was uncomfortable but not terrible. The nurses were joking and flitting about as they normally do.

Then Dr. OBGYN got more serious. Turns out the abnormal cells (called dysplasia) were high risk for being precancerous.

CANCER?!?

That word immediately jolts a person into paying attention.

To be on the safe, and healthier, side, yesterday a LEEP was performed. The loop electrosurgical excision procedure (LEEP) is used when your Pap smear indicates the presence of abnormal cells on the surface of the cervix. This does not mean you have cancer, but treatment of the abnormal area is important to prevent the cells from developing into cervical cancer.

I'm a total ignoramous because I thought, okay, I'll go in to see Dr. OBGYN and he'll electrocute those bad boys and I'll go on my merry way.

Well, let me tell you, there was nothing merry about yesterday. However, I am very glad that I went for a wellness check-up a month ago. Had I not been checked out (the last time I went was nearly 2 years ago) it is very likely that the dysplasia could've turned precancerous or worse.

So I want to encourage every one of you lovely ladies to never miss your yearly wellness checkup. They exist for a real reason after all! Pap smears can help your doctor help YOU.

Three cheers for the Pap smear!

heh.

Two Little Monkeys Jumpin On The Bed...

2007

2008

I don't really remember if Amanda, six years younger than me, would do whatever I asked whenever I asked. I hope so, for my Mom's sake, because it is quite entertaining to watch Ava do what her sister tells her to.

Sometimes Ava will come into the room wearing 7 layers of Bella's clothes. She looks like a 2 feet tall rainbow Eskimo.

Yesterday afternoon she came running into the living room wearing my silk nightie as a superhero cape. The guy working on our spa was certainly surprised and I was shocked to know I still had nighties.

This morning, Bella shaved Ava's beard with a baby comb. I didn't bother to tell her that most girls don't have beards. Maybe she's hoping Ava will join Barnum & Bailey?

No matter what role play they are in, Ava dutifully obeys. Right now she is the perfect playmate for Miss Bossy. I don't expect this will last forever because as monkeys see and monkeys do, Ava will one day want to be Miss Bossy. I don't think that's going to play out as smoothly. Though perhaps cousin Korenna will be her Bossy apprentice.

For now though, Ava seems content with repeating the last word of every one of Bella's sentences, wearing sister's panties over her diaper and doing as she's told without much fuss(by Bella, certainly not by her mother).

Barreling Towards 40

You know you are getting old when you are putting on eyeshadow and the skin on your upper lid follows the shadow applicator from where it is supposed to be towards the other side of your lid where it didn't used to be.

The Grass Is Always Greener...

...if you buy 4 pallets of it.

Ahhhh, yes, instant gratification. Babies love it, as do children, so why not adults too?

Granted, we are hoping this new green will help sell the house but I will certainly enjoy it as long as we are here! Don't ask about the weird rocks and stones laid out. We had nothing to do with that and never knew what to do about it since there is an even weirder drainage pipe system under there!

I think too that I enjoy seeing a color other than the white walls/cabinets I've been scrubbing for over a week.

Viva la sale!

hehe...

No Humble Pie Here

We are in our final days of 3 year old Frog Class. In about a week and a half I get to start begging her friend's mothers to take her for a few hours when I've peaked on sanity with both children shrieking and tattling.

Bella learned a great lesson about following rules at school recently. As you may remember, she didn't nap or lay on her mat as instructed and in turn didn't get to color which lead to an Oscar worthy performance.


Tuesday was a whole different day for Isabella.

Not only did she lay on her mat quietly, when one of her BFFs was distraught at having to attend school that day, Bella put on her happy face and cheerfully invited Madison to play. The teachers were so impressed with how thoughtful and loving Bella was, they deemed her Line Leader which is like being a miniature Commander in Chief for the day.

She's been glowing ever since. Then of course this morning she had it all planned out to offer her undying love and friendship to Madison once again so she could be Line Leader.

*sigh*

When does humbleness kick in?

And....scene.

The LYOCBWS Law

I think I should approach Congress about a Leave Your Other Children Behind When Shopping law. Not only for other shoppers' sake, but the mother and her little outlaws.

It is hard enough shopping for groceries with one child, but taking TWO kids under the age of 4 to a dress shop? I was and it was insane.

Husband has his annual company retreat this Friday night. That means it is super sassy involving tricked up drinks and unrecognizable tiny food. I haven't bought a new dress in probably 4 years. (Yikes, writing that makes me sound even more pathetic!)

With time crunching on me, I dragged my poor darlings to Dillard's. And Banana Republic, followed by Ann Taylor. Then I gave up and took them somewhere I could bribe them with toys. TJ Maxx.

I don't believe in child leashes, or child muzzles, but yesterday both would've been helpful. I don't think I ever tried on a dress completely. I was too busy dragging tiny bodies from under the dressing room stalls or curtains. Every time Ava would see my dress start to come off, she'd screech out "Mama Meeyuk!" Bella wanted to chat with the dressing room attendants about the clothes, which meant she was peeking outside the stall every nano-second, leaving everyone privy to my half-dressed self.

CRAZY.

I made it through. Even long enough to zoom in on some super cute patent leather heels. However, I told Husband that if he wants me to look like a normal human being tomorrow evening, he'd better work a half day to keep the monkeys at bay.

I will definitely have some cheese with that wine! :)

Know Your Territory

Bella had a birthday celebration day at school today. I sent M&M cookies with festive napkins for all her friends. They sang Happy Birthday to her and she got to wear the Birthday Crown all day. Her birthday is in June. Can you imagine her confusion?

Confusion or not, she apparently turned into a birthday brat. When I picked her up at school, she was just waking up and asked to color, as the other kids were doing.

Her teacher said no. Em. Okay and why?

Teacher went on to explain how much Bella had misbehaved at naptime. That she refused to lay down and be quiet. The kids don't have to sleep but they do have to lay on their mats. Apparently, Bella was quite belligerent about it.

I took wailing Bella from class and we started to leave when I thought how this wasn't a good way to leave school. We talked a bit and agreed she should apologize.

Bella hugged both of her teachers and apologized for misbehaving. They hugged her back and told her they love her and want her to have happy days.

Not missing a beat, Bella said, "So can I color now?"

Just as quickly, Teacher chirped, "Maybe Thursday!"

Ew. That didn't go over well. We went on our wailing way to the car.

Hey, it is Teacher's territory, not mine. Her tough love is what has helped Bella most during this past year of school. Tough love for me too...

Our Home Is A Storage Unit

We are finally FINALLY going to put our house on the market. This is huge for us. Emotional, exciting and scary.

Nearly 8 years ago, a wonderful woman (Em) died and left us her home with everything in it. Everything. Not only that, but everything her best friend (Dee) who died 2 years before left HER. They were major packrats as well as collectors. We have collections ranging from stamps to belt buckles to books!

So this has been a crazy blessing, if there's such a thing. It has resulted in 7 years of sifting, sorting and boxing up. We've donated at least 25 truckloads to the Salvation Army and other charities!

How many truckloads of trash? Not much. Because we simply cannot decide what to do with all this! What on Earth does one do with other people's memories and treasures?

Our biggest issue seems to be finding family who will take the personal items of either women. Dee was an only child, Em just has a sister-in-law who only wants Em's brother's things. So that leaves us with boxes and boxes of photo albums, slides and movie reels.

It leaves me a little sad for both ladies. Neither had children (they viewed my husband as their own, in a way). However, they were really big into geneology, family history and family memories. I already donated all their geneology work back to the Geneological Society, so future seekers can find the research these women so diligently put together. There are numerous awards for both women. Who wants that though? I can't just throw it all away!

I have a nagging feeling that I must make sure everything in this house that we do not want to keep is carefully distributed to those who will continue to care for it.

Any suggestions? Dee's family seems to be the most difficult to find. Do we post something somewhere about it? Do we keep hanging on to her things? We have to do what is right!

***UPDATE***

Seriously, as I was finishing this up, my mother-in-law was able to locate Em's cousin! That is incredible! Whew!!! But we've still got Dee's stuff...

Seeing Is Believing

Or is it?

We have a very lovely, elegant Christian woman neighbor named Eve. Fitting, right?

Eve and her husband own a funeral home. They are very involved in their church and the community. I know this because she's always trying to recruit us to her gospel church. Eh, no thank you. I like to worship while mumbling, not shouting.

One early evening I saw a woman getting out of Eve's car. She looked like a cross between Tina Turner, Cher and Scary Spice. I couldn't help but stare and then she waved at me. No, wait, she was waving me over to her. As I got closer, it was Eve! Huge crazy black and gray striped wig, very loud leopard print rocker outfit, heels higher than stilts. She was waving some Emmy looking thing at me and proudly exclaiming she'd won Best Director. Ooookay.

Now when I see gentle Eve plucking weeds from her flower beds, I can't help but stare in bewilderment all over again. You truly never should believe in just what (or who) you see at that moment.

----

As a mother, seeing is believing as well, right? I always thought that but as my kids get older and weirder things happen with them, I know that saying does not apply to children.

Ava had some strange blister thing going on her lip yesterday. I called the nurse to see what I could or should do. She had me come in to make sure no blisters were in Ava's throat.

After meeting with Dr. CurlyQ, there was immediate concern over tiny pinpoint dots all over Ava's left cheek. There was a rush on blood tests to determine if the petechiae (broken blood vessels) were caused by a number of things, the worst being Meningococcemia or Leukemia!

WHA?!!

That made for a VERY long day. Ava had the displeasure of her first needle in the arm to draw what appeared to be half the blood she owns and I had to hound the doctor's office all afternoon for the results. My mind was swirling from "It is nothing we can't handle" to "OMG, how are we going to deal with this?"

Thankfully, Ava is fine. Perhaps she broke those blood vessels by coughing too hard. Or it could be she was on the tail end of a virus (which I had last week) and it stressed her body.

How could I not know my child had a virus, you ask? Well, Bella had Strep a month ago and the only reason I thought anything was wrong is because that dangly thing in the back of her throat was in a swollen tonsil sandwich.

Part of me feels like a bad mom for not noticing things earlier. The other feels like I over-react and my kids are getting to know Dr. CurlyQ so well that she may one day be invited to their weddings.

I am learning that what you see isn't always what you believe it to be. Politics should have taught us all that! *snort*

I do want to say though...if you ever see pinpoint dots that look like blood, either purple or red, please take your little one to the doctor immediately. Though if your kid has just been finger painting, might check those speckles first. :)

Life In Pictures

A photo journal of the past week. ONE WEEK.

I'm exhausted :)

Family Reunion

Bella Scarfs Homemade Ice Cream

Ava Passes Out After Hoovering Homemade Ice Cream

Grandma's House

My Lil' Ladykins

Three Going on 13

Mayfest

Tea for Three....Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

Ava LOVED the rides at Mayfest. See the wheel she's gripping? She wouldn't let go when the ride was over. Lucky me got to pry her fat little fingers off, legs kicking, tears streaming while she wailed, "Weddy! Go! Weddy! Mah-meeeeeeee! Wide 'gin!"

She did the same thing on the Carousel (the pics from that were too scary to post) and the miniature train (no evidence of me crammed into a midget choo-choo, sorry).

My advice on festivals: Just don't look the Carny in the eyes.

Where Am I?

Oh my gosh! It has been so long since I've posted. That's weird because almost nightly I lay in bed thinking about that day's worth of blogging material.

Hubby and I had our first real date since Ava was born. It was AWESOME. We celebrated 5 wonderful years of marriage with a fancy schmancy dinner complete with me in a dress and heels. I even drank a glass of wine which left my nose numb and my chatter giggly.

The highlight of the evening, other than uber romance, was the preteen boy who maybe didn't think I saw him in the window as he passed by and made goofy faces. His mom was horrified and apologized profusely which was cute.

Then we had a family reunion at a beautiful lake. The kids played until they couldn't play anymore and we took the Pinto of barges on a mini-tour of the water. I swear it was a trailer attached to two floating devices and a dinky motor. We had to sit close to the back so as not to appear we'd gone down Splash Mountain even after the snail's pace poke about the lake.

This past Monday, my girls and I drove to help take care of my mom. Let me take a moment to laugh about that...

First of all, my mom is a rock. She is the most determined human being I know. She had major surgery two weeks ago and she is kicking butt (slowly) in recovering. So how helpful was I? I got DOG SICK on Tues. I couldn't function. It was ridiculous! My mom proved once again who's boss and took care of her granddaughters as well as her kid.

I have to admit, selfish as it may seem, I enjoyed having my mommy take care of me! The next day was much better and I got to help her out which is good because I felt lame-O.

That brings us to today. We're back home, doing mountains of laundry and preparing to begin our journey into selling our home. Egads. That makes me excited as well as want to throw up.

----

Kid Bits


At my grandmother's house for a visit yesterday, Bella pulled off the brown armchair cover and placed it on her head. Her face beaming, she exclaimed, "Mommy! Look! I'm Jesus!"

Fortunely, my grandmother found this to be cute and not blasphemous.


Parent Tip


If you simply must pull over onto the side of the road so your toddler can pee, I do not recommend choosing a patch of beautiful wildflowers to do so. Your toddler will squirm and squeal with glee trying to pick a flower while relieving herself all over your shoe (or toes in sandals, as it were).

Also, this all leads a 19 month old to believe she's getting jerked around because she's strapped into her carseat like a straight jacket while her sister gets to pick pretty flowers in the sunshine. Screaming will undoubtedly continue well past the time you leave the scene of your crime.

Big, But Not SOOO Big

Bella: Mom! What's that smeyul? (she has a Southern drawl at times)

Me: What smell? I don't smell anything.

Bella (waving unopened chocolate chip granola bar at me): Oh! I guess it must be THIS. We should open it and see!

-----

Bella got an invite from Austin in class. She doesn't particularly like him but I thought I'd check.

Me: Do you play with Austin? Is he your friend?

Bella: No. I don't play with him. Well, sometimes I play with him but I don't like him.

She laughed.

Bella: That doesn't make sense! I said I don't like him but I play with him! (rolls her eyes and chuckles, walking away)


-----


Bella had some fandangled exercise program at school. That involved loads of parents with video cameras there to capture their angel's 2 seconds of fame. After an entertaining rendition of Hokey Pokey, Bella and her class had to sit on the sidelines with their teachers for another 35 minutes. Do you realize how long 35 minutes is to a kid, especially when she can see her parents on the other side of the room?

You are bound to get some blubbering tears. I could only watch it unfold from where I was. All cheerful and proud of her performance, waving gleefully at us, then 20 minutes ticked by and boredom set in as other kids did their exercise show. Then the realization that her mama was over there holding baby sister and her beloved daddy was there too.

Wait a minute! (uh-oh...here it comes)

Her family is over THERE and she was over HERE.

Tears turned to sobs which turned to wails. I know Isabella very well and that she wasn't about to let us leave that building without her. She could care less at that moment about eating lunch with her friends and laying on a napmat pretending not to sleep.

She cried through the group picture. She cried as she put on her backpack. She cried until I got down and hugged her tight. She even cried as she waved goodbye to the friends who were staying for the rest of school. Ava grabbed the rolled up napmat and began dragging it behind her, she of course was ready for her big sis to come home. I held Bella's hand and I could see the total happiness on her tear-stained face that she was leaving with her family.

I have a highly sensitive child. She's been that way her whole life. So she's the crying kid in class. One day she'll grow out of it. Right now she doesn't care because she loves and needs her family more than she loves and needs her friends. And I'm okay with that. One day the friends may be seemingly more important. I'll just soak up all the Bella love I can for now.

Anything She Can Do, I Can Do Better...

Ava is competitive. It is the darnedest thing to watch an 18 month old try to out eat, out drink, out run, out play and even out bathe her sister.

I don't know where it comes from!

A while ago, as I was feeding Ava, Bella came over for a bite and Ava started yelling, "Mo! Mo!" while zooming at me with mouth wide open, trying to shoulder sister out of the way.

If Bella dresses up. Ava dresses up. If Bella's carrying her 10lb baby, Ava stops dragging hers by the foot and hauls it over her shoulder to carry it.

It gets really ridiculous with Daddy. As soon as he walks in the door from a day at the office, both girls run screeching with joy towards him. Then Ava nearly panics trying to leap into his arms before sister, all the while eyeballing her. Then they cling to his legs as he lugs them around like leg weights to go change his clothes.

Don't get me wrong. The monkey-see, monkey-do of my little one also brings some of the sweetest and surprising moments.

Ava has been saying "I la yew" without prompting for nearly a month. She even gives a bonus smooch afterwards. Melts my heart every time!

Because Bella is loving with Ava, for the most part (hey, they are siblings!), Ava will hug her big sister with cute little grunts of affection at random.

Ava also talks. ALOT. The child knows more words than I thought possible for her age. I attribute that to her mimicking Bella. Perhaps she decided to learn early so she can out talk Bella too.

But these two, with their contrasting competitiveness and sister love, are also going to be a force to reckon with in the coming years. There are already secret giggles and sideways glances at their parents as they run gleefully from playroom to bedroom, clutching something under their shirt or in a blanket. A number of times I've sneaked (yes, I sneak) into the playroom just to startle them as they sit in a sea of shredded paper, quietly concentrating on ripping out the coloring book pages or breaking/peeling every crayon they own.

I hope my daughters will continue to grow as friends and confidants. I'm just not sure how to make them both see that there's no need to compete for anything. And that having different color sippy cups can be a good thing.

Enjoying a poncho tea party

Simply Enchanting

Princess Preschool

Today, we are learning to color without eating the crayons

as well as

how to slap magnetic letters up on a white board.

A princess always holds her basket just so when retrieving letters.

Princess see, princess do.

Princess Preschool Graduation

(okay, its really Easter Sunday)

Which word came first? Alienate or Alien?

I realized today that I am NOT perfect.

I KNOW!

Okay, I realized it about a week ago. See? Imperfect.

I think I'm pretty much all that with the self-esteem, happy-go-lucky, life is what you make it, guns don't kill people, people kill people. Oh, wait...

Today it dawned on me that I don't like sharing people I care about.

We went to yet another birthday party for Isabella's friends. Only this time, it was for her BFF, Mitchell. His mom and I are good friends. We talk nearly every other day and see each other on school days. She's funny, relaxed, smart and we could blab endlessly.

However, when we are around her other friends, I clam up. I have nothing brilliant or even half-coherent to say. I feel awkward and ridiculous. I just converse with all the humans under 4 feet tall and hope adult whats-her-name-in-blue won't make eye contact.

It has been this way with any friend I've ever had. Yay fun when just us. Boo-hiss when someone else shows up. Very mature, I know.

I also don't like sharing my sister. She is my BFF. But when I am around her friends, the same tardness comes over me. Words don't even form in my mind to say to those friends. All of whom are very nice and funny! I just stare at inanimate objects and laugh way too loud at what everyone else says.

My husband says I don't like to share him either. But that's not it. I like hanging out with him and his friends. It is relaxed and we always have fun. However, throw in a new (and always temporary) girlfriend of theirs, then I am obligated to be Provider of Small Talk with her and it throws me off completely. Bartender!

I guess I'm still insecure around women I don't know well. I am trying so hard to overcome this because it is very frustrating! I've struggled with group bashfulness all of my life. I'm 35 friggin years old though! Why can't I hang out with a clan of mothers or non-breeders and be as cool n' witty as I know that I am (and MODEST, mind you).

*sigh*

Being a grownup is hard.

Its Great To Be A Kid

Unhappy with the idea that I can't birth a big brother for her, Isabella has decided to take care of it on her own.

She told me yesterday, in the car (where the most interesting conversations take place), that she'll just get married, have a baby boy named Iloveyou and when HE gets bigger, he'll be her big brother. That's a good idea, right, Mom?

Umm...

+++++++++

You know all those cool names for the colors in the crayon box? My favorites were always Periwinkle, Aquamarine and Bittersweet.

Now I actually own a crayon color. Rather, my children do. It is this fabulous fuzzy Goldenrod reading chair that was my grandmother's. It rocks, swivels and is totally FUZZY!

Can I Just Throw A Tantrum Too?

Have you experienced the judgemental stare of others, particularly parents, as you try to wrangle your writhing, screaming, sobbing toddler from whatever plaything they've attached themselves to when playdate is over?

Have you had the joy of playing dodge kid at, oh, lets say Chuck E. Cheese, when the party is long over and your child manages to outsmart AND embarrass you as she avoids being nabbed to leave?

Do you handle these moments with grace? Or do you, like me, grit your teeth, call your child by her full name while shooting the most intense you-better-get-over-here-or-else looks her way only to be ignored because she's too busy in her moment of meltdown?

*sigh*

Bella's never handled leaving playdates, parties or the park very well. Or the pool. Hmmm, all those begin with "p"...isn't that interesting?

AnyWAY, I always give the recommended 15 minute warning. Then 10, then 5. She accepts the invisible timer with an enthusiastic "Okay, Mom!" like she's so grown-up and cooperative.

Then that silent dinger goes off and she senses it. That's when all hell breaks loose, or at least she does. Sometimes she reacts verbally with an intense wail as she convinces herself that her heart is breaking over such tragic news that it is time to leave.

Other times she reacts physically by running around whatever establishment I'm about to be humiliated at. She'll sob and screech like a curly-headed banshee.

I will grab her arm generally, trying VERY hard not to leave permanent finger marks, and I do the whole get down on her level to talk thing. But she's gone to visit that toddler Other Side where they hear and see nothing other than their own anguish.

I need new magic tricks as mine are obviously no longer working. As you know, you can talk to a kid till you're blue in the face but in that horrible moment there's not much to do (that I've seen) than to hook them under your arm while lugging your other kid and march silently out of the playground/party/playdate/pool.

No wonder my right arm looks as if I benchpress 150.

Tiny Toddler Tidbits

We all know how entertaining Bella can be. Now her little sister is proving to be just as much of a performer.

Ava's learning words at lightning speed but she's also learning to DO things that just blow my mind because she's not even 17 months old yet!

• The other day Ava was naked, her favorite thing to be, when she climbed onto her stool by the changing table, grabbed a wipe, cleaned herself (surprisingly well!), placed the wipe on the table and got back down. Impressive, I must say.

• Today, she was eating lunch with her sister in our library as I cleaned the living room. She came into the kitchen yelling, "Mo! Mo!" and doing the sign furiously for "more" indicating she wasn't satisified with just one measley scoop of mac n' cheese so I'd better hop to it.

• I'm working on weaning her so she's completely testing me. Ava will pat (pound) my chest, her eyes never leaving mine as if to challenge me to deny her. If I tell her that she can't have Mama Milk yet, she'll gripe at me, then go off to play. A few minutes later, she'll return, pulling my shirt up, again with the stare of a determined cat, unwilling to back down. This game goes on all day. At least she's not pivoting on one foot in a circle of rage anymore. That's progress.

• Then this morning as we waited for Princess Isabella to wake up, Ava flopped over onto me for a hug, grinned and said, "Eyelouuuu." If you need toddler translation, it means "I love you." My heart melted immediately. Then I realized that her grin was a prideful one and probably due to the fact that she FINALLY said it, on her own terms, after a dear aunt tried for 2+ hours at dinner last night to make her say it. I just had to laugh at my little stinker and return the love with some tickles.

It surprises me how amazed and delighted I am by my second child's achievements as if the experience is new. But it is new, really. My daughters are their own unique person, something I am blessed to witness every day!

Travel Tip - Be Prepared!

GOOD IDEA:

Leave Daddy with the babies for the weekend to visit Oma, the sweetest most beautiful grandmother in the world.


BAD IDEA:

Not breastfeeding for 30+ hours only to wake up looking like a porn star. In tremendous PAIN.

Fortunately, my littlest angel was more than ready to oblige when I walked in the door. We'll work on weaning another day. Or week. Or month.

No Words

I have nothing to say in this post.

I'm just proud that after a ridiculous number of

attempts to get these two in a picture together that

doesn't require Photoshop intervention, I have this:

Absorb the cuteness...