Big, But Not SOOO Big

Bella: Mom! What's that smeyul? (she has a Southern drawl at times)

Me: What smell? I don't smell anything.

Bella (waving unopened chocolate chip granola bar at me): Oh! I guess it must be THIS. We should open it and see!

-----

Bella got an invite from Austin in class. She doesn't particularly like him but I thought I'd check.

Me: Do you play with Austin? Is he your friend?

Bella: No. I don't play with him. Well, sometimes I play with him but I don't like him.

She laughed.

Bella: That doesn't make sense! I said I don't like him but I play with him! (rolls her eyes and chuckles, walking away)


-----


Bella had some fandangled exercise program at school. That involved loads of parents with video cameras there to capture their angel's 2 seconds of fame. After an entertaining rendition of Hokey Pokey, Bella and her class had to sit on the sidelines with their teachers for another 35 minutes. Do you realize how long 35 minutes is to a kid, especially when she can see her parents on the other side of the room?

You are bound to get some blubbering tears. I could only watch it unfold from where I was. All cheerful and proud of her performance, waving gleefully at us, then 20 minutes ticked by and boredom set in as other kids did their exercise show. Then the realization that her mama was over there holding baby sister and her beloved daddy was there too.

Wait a minute! (uh-oh...here it comes)

Her family is over THERE and she was over HERE.

Tears turned to sobs which turned to wails. I know Isabella very well and that she wasn't about to let us leave that building without her. She could care less at that moment about eating lunch with her friends and laying on a napmat pretending not to sleep.

She cried through the group picture. She cried as she put on her backpack. She cried until I got down and hugged her tight. She even cried as she waved goodbye to the friends who were staying for the rest of school. Ava grabbed the rolled up napmat and began dragging it behind her, she of course was ready for her big sis to come home. I held Bella's hand and I could see the total happiness on her tear-stained face that she was leaving with her family.

I have a highly sensitive child. She's been that way her whole life. So she's the crying kid in class. One day she'll grow out of it. Right now she doesn't care because she loves and needs her family more than she loves and needs her friends. And I'm okay with that. One day the friends may be seemingly more important. I'll just soak up all the Bella love I can for now.

Anything She Can Do, I Can Do Better...

Ava is competitive. It is the darnedest thing to watch an 18 month old try to out eat, out drink, out run, out play and even out bathe her sister.

I don't know where it comes from!

A while ago, as I was feeding Ava, Bella came over for a bite and Ava started yelling, "Mo! Mo!" while zooming at me with mouth wide open, trying to shoulder sister out of the way.

If Bella dresses up. Ava dresses up. If Bella's carrying her 10lb baby, Ava stops dragging hers by the foot and hauls it over her shoulder to carry it.

It gets really ridiculous with Daddy. As soon as he walks in the door from a day at the office, both girls run screeching with joy towards him. Then Ava nearly panics trying to leap into his arms before sister, all the while eyeballing her. Then they cling to his legs as he lugs them around like leg weights to go change his clothes.

Don't get me wrong. The monkey-see, monkey-do of my little one also brings some of the sweetest and surprising moments.

Ava has been saying "I la yew" without prompting for nearly a month. She even gives a bonus smooch afterwards. Melts my heart every time!

Because Bella is loving with Ava, for the most part (hey, they are siblings!), Ava will hug her big sister with cute little grunts of affection at random.

Ava also talks. ALOT. The child knows more words than I thought possible for her age. I attribute that to her mimicking Bella. Perhaps she decided to learn early so she can out talk Bella too.

But these two, with their contrasting competitiveness and sister love, are also going to be a force to reckon with in the coming years. There are already secret giggles and sideways glances at their parents as they run gleefully from playroom to bedroom, clutching something under their shirt or in a blanket. A number of times I've sneaked (yes, I sneak) into the playroom just to startle them as they sit in a sea of shredded paper, quietly concentrating on ripping out the coloring book pages or breaking/peeling every crayon they own.

I hope my daughters will continue to grow as friends and confidants. I'm just not sure how to make them both see that there's no need to compete for anything. And that having different color sippy cups can be a good thing.

Enjoying a poncho tea party

Simply Enchanting

Princess Preschool

Today, we are learning to color without eating the crayons

as well as

how to slap magnetic letters up on a white board.

A princess always holds her basket just so when retrieving letters.

Princess see, princess do.

Princess Preschool Graduation

(okay, its really Easter Sunday)

Which word came first? Alienate or Alien?

I realized today that I am NOT perfect.

I KNOW!

Okay, I realized it about a week ago. See? Imperfect.

I think I'm pretty much all that with the self-esteem, happy-go-lucky, life is what you make it, guns don't kill people, people kill people. Oh, wait...

Today it dawned on me that I don't like sharing people I care about.

We went to yet another birthday party for Isabella's friends. Only this time, it was for her BFF, Mitchell. His mom and I are good friends. We talk nearly every other day and see each other on school days. She's funny, relaxed, smart and we could blab endlessly.

However, when we are around her other friends, I clam up. I have nothing brilliant or even half-coherent to say. I feel awkward and ridiculous. I just converse with all the humans under 4 feet tall and hope adult whats-her-name-in-blue won't make eye contact.

It has been this way with any friend I've ever had. Yay fun when just us. Boo-hiss when someone else shows up. Very mature, I know.

I also don't like sharing my sister. She is my BFF. But when I am around her friends, the same tardness comes over me. Words don't even form in my mind to say to those friends. All of whom are very nice and funny! I just stare at inanimate objects and laugh way too loud at what everyone else says.

My husband says I don't like to share him either. But that's not it. I like hanging out with him and his friends. It is relaxed and we always have fun. However, throw in a new (and always temporary) girlfriend of theirs, then I am obligated to be Provider of Small Talk with her and it throws me off completely. Bartender!

I guess I'm still insecure around women I don't know well. I am trying so hard to overcome this because it is very frustrating! I've struggled with group bashfulness all of my life. I'm 35 friggin years old though! Why can't I hang out with a clan of mothers or non-breeders and be as cool n' witty as I know that I am (and MODEST, mind you).

*sigh*

Being a grownup is hard.

Its Great To Be A Kid

Unhappy with the idea that I can't birth a big brother for her, Isabella has decided to take care of it on her own.

She told me yesterday, in the car (where the most interesting conversations take place), that she'll just get married, have a baby boy named Iloveyou and when HE gets bigger, he'll be her big brother. That's a good idea, right, Mom?

Umm...

+++++++++

You know all those cool names for the colors in the crayon box? My favorites were always Periwinkle, Aquamarine and Bittersweet.

Now I actually own a crayon color. Rather, my children do. It is this fabulous fuzzy Goldenrod reading chair that was my grandmother's. It rocks, swivels and is totally FUZZY!

Can I Just Throw A Tantrum Too?

Have you experienced the judgemental stare of others, particularly parents, as you try to wrangle your writhing, screaming, sobbing toddler from whatever plaything they've attached themselves to when playdate is over?

Have you had the joy of playing dodge kid at, oh, lets say Chuck E. Cheese, when the party is long over and your child manages to outsmart AND embarrass you as she avoids being nabbed to leave?

Do you handle these moments with grace? Or do you, like me, grit your teeth, call your child by her full name while shooting the most intense you-better-get-over-here-or-else looks her way only to be ignored because she's too busy in her moment of meltdown?

*sigh*

Bella's never handled leaving playdates, parties or the park very well. Or the pool. Hmmm, all those begin with "p"...isn't that interesting?

AnyWAY, I always give the recommended 15 minute warning. Then 10, then 5. She accepts the invisible timer with an enthusiastic "Okay, Mom!" like she's so grown-up and cooperative.

Then that silent dinger goes off and she senses it. That's when all hell breaks loose, or at least she does. Sometimes she reacts verbally with an intense wail as she convinces herself that her heart is breaking over such tragic news that it is time to leave.

Other times she reacts physically by running around whatever establishment I'm about to be humiliated at. She'll sob and screech like a curly-headed banshee.

I will grab her arm generally, trying VERY hard not to leave permanent finger marks, and I do the whole get down on her level to talk thing. But she's gone to visit that toddler Other Side where they hear and see nothing other than their own anguish.

I need new magic tricks as mine are obviously no longer working. As you know, you can talk to a kid till you're blue in the face but in that horrible moment there's not much to do (that I've seen) than to hook them under your arm while lugging your other kid and march silently out of the playground/party/playdate/pool.

No wonder my right arm looks as if I benchpress 150.

Tiny Toddler Tidbits

We all know how entertaining Bella can be. Now her little sister is proving to be just as much of a performer.

Ava's learning words at lightning speed but she's also learning to DO things that just blow my mind because she's not even 17 months old yet!

• The other day Ava was naked, her favorite thing to be, when she climbed onto her stool by the changing table, grabbed a wipe, cleaned herself (surprisingly well!), placed the wipe on the table and got back down. Impressive, I must say.

• Today, she was eating lunch with her sister in our library as I cleaned the living room. She came into the kitchen yelling, "Mo! Mo!" and doing the sign furiously for "more" indicating she wasn't satisified with just one measley scoop of mac n' cheese so I'd better hop to it.

• I'm working on weaning her so she's completely testing me. Ava will pat (pound) my chest, her eyes never leaving mine as if to challenge me to deny her. If I tell her that she can't have Mama Milk yet, she'll gripe at me, then go off to play. A few minutes later, she'll return, pulling my shirt up, again with the stare of a determined cat, unwilling to back down. This game goes on all day. At least she's not pivoting on one foot in a circle of rage anymore. That's progress.

• Then this morning as we waited for Princess Isabella to wake up, Ava flopped over onto me for a hug, grinned and said, "Eyelouuuu." If you need toddler translation, it means "I love you." My heart melted immediately. Then I realized that her grin was a prideful one and probably due to the fact that she FINALLY said it, on her own terms, after a dear aunt tried for 2+ hours at dinner last night to make her say it. I just had to laugh at my little stinker and return the love with some tickles.

It surprises me how amazed and delighted I am by my second child's achievements as if the experience is new. But it is new, really. My daughters are their own unique person, something I am blessed to witness every day!

Travel Tip - Be Prepared!

GOOD IDEA:

Leave Daddy with the babies for the weekend to visit Oma, the sweetest most beautiful grandmother in the world.


BAD IDEA:

Not breastfeeding for 30+ hours only to wake up looking like a porn star. In tremendous PAIN.

Fortunately, my littlest angel was more than ready to oblige when I walked in the door. We'll work on weaning another day. Or week. Or month.

No Words

I have nothing to say in this post.

I'm just proud that after a ridiculous number of

attempts to get these two in a picture together that

doesn't require Photoshop intervention, I have this:

Absorb the cuteness...

And The Winner IS????

I don't talk politics on my blog but this year's Presidential election is fascinating to me. It is such a huge milestone for America to have not only a woman running but also a black man. AND one of those people will win their party's nomination!

No matter what your party affiliation, I hope you too are excited about this historical election. Now our children may truly get to believe it when we say they can be anything they choose to be when they grow up.

Good Lord though, I hope my girls don't want to be President!


In honor of our nation, Bella is here to sing (yes, sing) our Pledge of Allegiance:


"I pledge allegiance to the Unida States of Amewica, and to the Repubicks, for which is sands, un nation, under God, inavisable, in libuhty and justice for ALL, Mama!"

Boys, Boys, Boys

Picking up Bella from school today, I got to listen in on her conversation with this century's Brat Pack. That includes Bella, her BFF Mitchell, Madison, Elena and Gavin.

Gavin's status always teeters, however.

Example:

As they are all coloring, waiting on the parents, Bella tells Gavin that she'll play with him in FIVE DAYS and waves her five fingers at him with a scowl.

No more. No less.

He says something inaudible and she barks at him, "But I love MITCHELL and I said I'd play with you in FIVE DAYS, GABIN!"

Thus is their relationship. A total love-hate toddler friendship.

It all started last year when Bella was 2 1/2. She began preschool and immediately Gavin began pestering her. We called him the Over-Hugger. He could NOT keep his hands off of her and it distressed her a great deal. Even when she dropped out of school, she talked about him for a year. Then he ended up in this year's class.

She tries to make the best of it but he's as third wheel as it gets. Poor Gavin is that boy who pokes, teases, laughs at and irritates the girl he loves. Gavin's mom says that he blushes when talking about Bella. He "writes" her name instead of his own. He's a love-sick puppy destined for constant rejection from my daughter, it seems.

I've tried to explain the boy-likes-girl game but she doesn't understand. Her sweet Mitchell isn't that way! He is kind, loving and attentive. Gavin doesn't stand a chance.

So, I'm trying to think of ways to help Bella handle Gavin's type of adoration and friendship. She talks about him all the time. I think she wants to like him but his aggressiveness makes her angry.

And this is only age THREE!

Stepping out with the paparazzi.

January 24

Our world has once again been blessed by an angel.

I'm proud to introduce my beautiful niece,

Korenna Kate.

More Toddler Tidbits

"Okay, Mama, you be Dorafee and I'll be the Wicked Witch."

In a high voice (you can NOT play pretend using your real Mama voice), I say something like "Hi, I'm Dorothy, who are you? Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!"

Bella wrinkles her nose and her eyebrows furrow into what we affectionately call a frinkle as she wags her finger at me yelling all scraggily, "I'll get you, my pretty! An your little dog TOO!"

And...

Scene.

She falls to the floor giggling with great satisfaction at her performance.

-----

Today during a bath, Isabella drew a line all the way across her belly with an orange tub marker. Then she said it was her scar from having a baby.


Me: "So where's your baby?"

Bella: *splish splash* "She's at AndAmanda's house."

Me: "Oh. And are we going to get your baby?"

Bella: *complete exasperation at my ignorance* "YES, Mom."

(she's serious now) "We will get it in FIFTEEN DAYS."


Everything is fifteen minutes or fifteen days as of late.

So, Aunt Amanda, she may be looking to bring Baby Johnson home in a couple of weeks. Perfectly okay by me, but you might take issue with it.

Let me just say that having a c-section has thus far provided THE easiest explanation to how Ava got out of me. She's going to be mighty freaked out when she learns the other way babies are born.

----

When I picked up Bella from school, all the kids had a police badge pinned on them. I asked if she'd told everyone that her Uncle Daniel is a policemen and she promptly turned to shout out the info to her classroom.

On the way home, we talked about policemen and she said her daddy is a police officer. Well, no, only Uncle Daniel is a policeman.

Bella: "Uncal Danyul works in a police office. Daddy works in a office. "

Me: "Yes... "

Bella: "Sooooooooo, Uncal Danyul is a police office man and Daddy is a office man. "


You got me there, little one.


-----

I am very excited that Ava's learning words at warp speed. Toddler Tidbits will be all about eavesdropping on the two of them before long!

2007 Down, 2008 Go!

Well, 2007 went out as eventful as it started.

After a whirlwind weekend of Christmas family celebrations, we got home Christmas night and watched with breathless excitement as the girls ran to the living room to see if Santa visited.

Bella squealed with delight at their new dollhouse (I constantly have to say "yours AND Ava's dollhouse, honey") while jumping up and down over her Sleeping Beauty VHS.

Yes, I said VHS. We figured out long ago that little kids and VHS tapes are AWESOME. She can turn on the TV, push the video in and all I have to do is make sure she doesn't have a Disney movie marathon.

That night, about 2am, I had a rude awakening. Not just that I had to go to the bathroom. Oh, no. The rudeness happened when I (thank heavens) decided that night to peek into the toilet before sitting.

I saw something dark and slammed the lid down.

That's crazy, I thought to myself. Maybe Bella just didn't flush...five days ago.

I opened it again. Looked awfully big.

Turned on the light.

Saw...

Okay, I'm not going to post the picture because it might make you lose your breakfast, lunch, dinner or all thee above.

It was a squirrel.

YES IT WAS. A very real, very dead squirrel. Eyes open, mind you. I threw up a little in my mouth, slammed the lid again and, heart pounding, climbed into bed. Because I am a nice wife and didn't wake my husband to fish out the toilet critter.

I spent the rest of the night half sleeping and half wondering if that was just a freaky dream. Hubby wondered the same till HE lifted the lid at 6am the next morning. By then, our furry friend was a wee bit fluffier. By the time my husband could get in the mindset to retrieve him, Squirrel was...um...easily deflated.

That is all.

----- In Cuter News -----

We cleaned out Bella's old nursery and made it into a playroom. YAY for all involved. We packed up loads of stuff into boxes for the attic and used a Sharpie to mark everything. Several hours into working we couldn't find the marker.

Went looking for the marker and instead found this:

Ava's Doll

At first I thought we'd had our first acting out by Bella on little sister's things. Then we saw that if she's acting out, it was also on her own toy dog as well as our library bookshelves.

I tried not to seethe. Really, I did. Through gritted teeth, I asked Bella why on Earth she colored on everything.

She picked up the doll and said, "But MOM, lissen to me. The baby is an INDIAN and needs her headband."

And the library shelves?

"That's my ARTWORK! Don't you love it? Isn't it buuuuuuuuuteeeful?"

Oh.

So it wasn't malicious graffiti at all. It was a 3 1/2 yr old filled to the brim with imagination. How do you get mad at that? If anything, I'm irritated at myself for all those Crayola washable markers Bella's been using for 2+ years!

Long live the Magic Eraser. That thing probably causes cancer but it wipes away Sharpie in a jiffy.

---- Still Cute News ----

Ava throws temper tantrums now and tattles on her sister by babbling in a tattling tone and a frown. Her tantrums consist of pivoting on her left foot in circle really fast while shaking her head and screeching. Humorous when performed just once a day.

New Year's Day dinner at my MIL's we had spinach. Bella used to love spinach but not that day. An aunt who was there commented how she is allergic to spinach. Intriguing adult conversation about allergies went on as Bella picked at her plate.

When hubby asked Bella to eat, she said "You know, Dad, I think I'm allergic to spinach."

They hear all, see all and apply all.

Here's to a happy, healthy, story-filled 2008!!

Merry Christmas!

We are all packed and ready to go. I even devised a plan where Husband will take the girls with him to fill up the vehicle in the morning while I cram the Loving Dollhouse accessories in and shove Princess videos down stockings.

I'll slurp the chocolate milk (Bella insisted on it for Santa), nibble the carrot and toss the cookies back into the jar.

Then we're off on a four hour journey to my parents'. I'm very excited to see my family yet dreading the drive. This time I was super smart and put Bella's potty in the back because there's no "just in case" when we travel. It is more like "inevitable pee panic" and I don't feel like holding her naked behind out over the grassy knoll just to be splashed anyway.

No trip begins without a Starbucks fix. Tall, non-fat Peppermint mocha. Thank you, weird Bleached Bangs Girl in the window as you complain to your BFF, Gay Guy, about the previous night's boring party. No, I do not want a 350 calorie piece of lemon pound cake. Today.

On we go to visit, laugh, play and rip into gifts with our family. First mine, then Husband's. He gets irritated that I separate the families out like that but how else do you explain it without sounding confused? We're going to visit my family and then my family.

I hope you all enjoy your families, however many or whoever's they are.

Merry Christmas and I hope to read all about YOURS soon!

Tiny Teachers

I have a very strong conviction to teach my children to accept diversity in this shrinking world. While I may not know the details of how or what I'll teach them, I feel it is important for my kids to be socially educated, compassionate and empathetic. Of course there are moral limitations and I'm still trying to define what those should be as my children grow.

Sometimes kids turn the tables and teach us instead.

I took Bella to an indoor playground last week after school. We arrived about the same time as two other little girls about her age.

One girl was named Kylie and she was African American. The other little girl looked as if her face had been beat up by concrete with cuts all over, swollen eye, nose and lip. Her name was Sarah.

Bella doesn't have many African American girls in her school, I'm not sure why. She hardly ever sees children with injuries or disabilities (I had to double-take with Sarah because I first thought she had a facial deformity).

But after formally introducing themselves and giving each other the once over, the girls gleefully ran off towards the slide, chatting non-stop.

The discussion?

How they got out of their mommy's tummy. A universal topic.

None of the girls pointed out each other's differences or even Sarah's poor beat-up little face. There was no staring or grimacing. There was immediate acceptance and willingness to be best friends for the 15 minutes we were there. They hugged, held hands, cooed over Ava and told silly secrets.

It was wonderful to see and I was proud of all three girls. I know social exchanges won't always be so pleasant or without judgement, but I hope I can teach my girls to always be kind, think before they speak and not stare at those who may be different from them. Then again, they will probably learn more by example and that is the most important lesson of all. For all of us parents.

What Kind of Friendship IS THIS?

Thanksgiving weekend, my sister Amanda and her family drove two hours to spend the day with my little family and my inlaws. Not only is THAT sweet, she also brought four starter kits for Amish Friendship bread.

I know. She's amazing.

I rarely bake. It requires precision and patience, both of which I'm lacking. But because she brought me the generous gift, I decided to go for it. I read the directions which called for mushing the bag every day for 10 days, but on the 6th day in, I'm supposed to add a crapload of ingredients before the daily bag mushing.

I opened the bag and...

Oh! *gag*

Gaw! *eyes tearing up*

I had to ask Amanda if this was actually moonshine bread because I'm pretty sure at this point it would explain her 2 year old's love of the stuff.

After that nice whiff, I spent the next four days grimmacing at the fermenting goop in a bag on my counter.

I came thisclose to tossing the bag out on day 10. But I knew that I couldn't lie to Amanda about a bread I never baked. So I followed the rest of the directions which basically told me to separate into 4 more starter kits. Out of love for others, I chunked that.

I did, however, make one batch of the BEST BREAD EVER! Wow. My kids loved it and we polished off the two loaves in less than a week!

All of that painstaking mushing and grossing out taught me a valuable lesson. Well, besides having a little more faith in my sister's love for me.

It made me remember that not everything in life is as it first appears to be. Often a bit more time must go by and with a few changes, what seemed awful can turn into something wonderful and unexpected.

Yeah. Check out the deep thought. I have no voice (oh, the kids LOVE it) but I've still got random thinking going for me.

Help. Me.

So Bella was supposed to be taking a nap, or "resting" as she calls it, and as I'm just about to sip on some nice hot tea, she comes into the room, tears streaming down her face.

Me: Honey, what on Earth is wrong?!

Bella *sobbing*: I can't sleep because my hair isn't curly!

And she hands me the hair gel.

Oh, yes. Vanity has arrived. For the past two weeks, she's obsessed about her curly hair. It is no wonder though because everyone and their Grandma comments on how pretty she and her curls are every time we leave our home!

I think the whole pretend beauty shop ploy to get her to wash her hair has backfired on me.

She's Still Baby Ava

As Ava nears 14 months old, I'm asked increasingly when I will stop nursing her. Honestly, it depends on the day I'm asked what my answer will be.

Ideally, I'd like to nurse her as long as I did Bella which was 19 1/2 months (that 1/2 definitely counts!). However, she only quit nursing because I was pregnant with Ava and apparently the hormones changed the flavor...or something like that.

I have no intention whatsoever of getting pregnant again and because Ava hasn't weaned herself yet, I see no end in sight. She used to just yank my shirt up but at least now she just gives the ol' boobie a nice pat when she's ready to snack.

If it weren't for the night nursing, I"d keep going until she weaned herself. Yet at 3am when she's hollering from her crib and claws at me like a starving bear cub, I grit my teeth a bit.

By morning, though, when she's had a breakfast from something other than me and is happily ignoring me, I crave the bond of breastfeeding.

Never fear, she comes patting for a snack around lunch time. And then I can hold her sweet little body close to me, watch her watching me with a grin and I'm in that moment that makes nursing so extraordinary.

Until she starts her breastfeeding gymnastics. The child can stand, twist, turn, giggle, babble, play with a toy and still never lose her latch-on. Remarkable, really. For ME! :)

For now, we continue on with the plan to let Ava wean herself. I'm sure it is more about my need to hang on to her babyness than it is for her to need to nurse.

They truly are babies for such an incredibly short period of time!

WWYD?

So Bella missed school Tuesday due to a hacking cough followed by phlegm (or as she put it, she "thowed up and swallowed it").

Guess I didn't feel bad for children outside of her class because we went to Target and then a super happy place for chicken nuggets and indoor playground.

My girls are wonderfully behaved while munching on their lunch as I survey the room. A family in front of us, also wonderfully behaved munching their food. A family across the room where the mother is yapping on her phone, her 2 year old is harassing the newborn, and the tag-along friend is in fa-la land with her fries.

Then the 2 year old bolts across the room towards the family in front of me. He STEALS a nugget right off one of the kid's trays. He begins to reach for some fries and Tag-Along decides to clue in and retrieve him.

Not 5 minutes later, he beelines for our table. I never touch him but I definitely told him "NO!" with emphasis on the N and the O. He grabs for whatever he can, then settles on a tug-of-war with me over Ava's chair. Now the mother, never getting of the phone, gives me a sorry "oh, sorry" and drags him off.

My kids go play. I protect Ava from Tiny Terror which bores him, so instead, he steals Bella's shoe and runs all around like a crazed maniac. I'm seething now and just as the mother grabs the shoe and brings it to me (STILL ON THE FRIGGIN PHONE) the goblin posing as a child tackles Isabella!

God bless Bella, she cried out "Why is my new friend pulling me down?"

Rather than get arrested for beating up a mother, I packed up my kids and we left.

I'm not a confrontational person, especially with strangers, because I get all red-faced, shaky and idiotic. However, when it comes to my children I get darn closer to bravery!

What would you have done?

Holiday Cheer

Silly me. I thought I'd dress the girls up in really cute, wintery nightgowns and they would show their love for each other (or at least the camera) for Christmas pictures.

So Much For That Job Interview

Being the good, dutiful wife that I am occasionally, I was washing hubby's dress shirts for the following work week.

I open the washer, pull out the shirts and...PLOP.

I look to my right and there perched on the edge of the washer is a very clean, very dead, 3" long gecko.

I nearly threw up all over those shirts.

Oh, and a giant Chimpanzee nearly scarred my daughter for life by getting in a fight with another one, then slamming into the glass window she was peering into while learning all about awesome nature.

How was your weekend?

Once Uponsa Time

"There was a beeooooooootiful princess named...Awowa. But the mean, um..."

*whispers behind her hand* "Mommy, what is the mean lady's name?"

"Oh, yes...the mean lady, Malificent, didn't like Awowa. She was jealous and it isn't nice to be jealous!"

*frowning* "So mean Malificent tricked Awowa to touch the noodle at the top of the stairs and all the land fell fast asleep."

"The prince heard about the beeoooooootiful princess and fought the dragon" *She stabs around with an air sword*

"And the dragon got dead and flew far away! The Prince kissed Awowa and all the kingdom woke up and they got married! *she says this part really fast and nearly breathless*

Be Friend. *she bows her head in appreciation for the applause she's about to receive*


Yes, she ends stories with "Be Friend", how cute is THAT? I love LOVE that Bella tells us stories now. Watching her pull stories together from what she's heard or seen and how animated she becomes during her story-telling is a delightful peek into her imagination. *sigh* So blessed...

Scary As Can Be

Halloween at our house was good fun. I mean that with the slightest sarcasm.

Waiting an entire day to put on a cute costume to go collect candy from people who tell you how adorable you are is pure torture for a kid. By the time Daddy came home, Bella had already wiped off her rosy cheeks and yanked out her bow, Ava had a run in her pantyhose (get used to it, love) and her nose was green slime. The whining had nearly driven Mommy over the edge as she was beginning the sick day from hell.

However, once we showed up at the fall festival (I think it is so silly that this is the new Christian "PC" for Halloween) and saw all the fairies, princesses, goblins and an entire family of The Incredible (seriously. How cute is that?) Bella and Ava both lit up with excitement.

We ate, we walked, Bella jumped in the bounce houses, exiting them as only a princess could.

Ava walked and ran everywhere. Yes, ran, at least as much as pudgy tiny legs can muster up. I envisioned her face planting in the asphalt as she decided to test her new skill, in new shoes and a fluffy costume. My heart couldn't keep functioning in my throat so we distracted her with a brain-rattling carnie train ride.

It really was a fun family night watching the girls enjoy themselves so much. Then with amazement as our three year old ran like a freight train fueled by pure fructose until she crashed into a cotton pillow wall. First thing she asked for the next morning? Candy, of course.

How was your Halloween, or, Fall Festival?

Tub Talk

"Look, Mama, I have a tail!" *splish splash*

She pretends to look sad, eyes downcast.

"I wish I was a yuman."

A human?

"Yes. I wish I was a yuman so I could marry my guy."

I don't say anything, I just keep scrubbing her down, probably a little too vigorously.

"Alls I have is this tail. I have two arms, a tummy and seashells on my boobies. See?"

"But (again with the downcast eyes) I wish I was a yuman like my guy. Papa told me not to go to the Seawitch but I did'n listen. Papa wants me to stay with him and my sistuhs but I need my man so I need legs."

A dramatic sigh as she splish-splashed some more.

Rather than throw up on us both, I silently curse Disney and offer to wash her hair in the pretend beauty salon, complete with Marge the Hairdresser. When that distraction failed, I dangled the promise of a popsicle if we ended this episode of Mermaid Angst immediately.

Sugar overrules a guy any day when you are three.

67 Days, 1597 Hours, 95824 Minutes..now 95823 Minutes..

...'till Christmas.

Last year was a nightmare trying to shop with two babies. I can only imagine the hellish adventure this year with a very verbal 3 year old and fidgety one year old who wants to roam the aisles (Roam. HA. Try run) rather than sit in the cart.

And because I am SOOOO smart n' savvy, I am doing most of my shopping online. It is fantastic. Some stores offer free shipping, some $5 across the board, others have online specials. It is very fun and I can load up the virtual cart, change my mind five times, then order!

However, it appears that I've forgotten who I am.

Yesterday, one of my husband's gifts arrived. I diligently put it in the Christmas gift box hidden somewhere in my house.

On the way home for dinner, we're just chatting about our day and the upcoming week. Out of nowhere, I change the subject and blurt: So do you want your Christmas present now?

Him: Um, what?

Me: Well DO YOU?

Him: Sure, is it shoes?

Me: YES

Him: Dress shoes?

Me: Eh...no. Shoes? Pshaw. What shoes? I haven't gotten you anything yet. Quit pestering me! Christmas is still two months away!

In my opinion, he stared at me a little too long for a person who's driving a small tank.

Head On! Apply Directly To The Forehead. Head On!

I'm kidding. This is not a commercial for Head On!

Actually I want to answer Dr. J's question about feverfew. My husband gets seasonal migraines and suffered for years because Excedrin and Tylenol don't work. The migraines would be so bad he could hardly function at work. It was awful and broke my heart to see him go through each attack.

Then a long-time trusted family doctor suggested he try feverfew rather than a prescription that could lead to issues with high blood pressure.

Feverfew, High-Parthenolide, commonly known as Bachelor's Buttons, contains niacin and iron and provides nutrition to the central nervous system. This herb offers nutritional support for migraine headaches. High-Parthenolide Feverfew delivers 500 mcg of parthenolide in a total of 212 mg of feverfew--from a specially grown "high parthenolide" feverfew leaf--per capsule. Parthenolides are sesquiterpene lactones, the major dietary components of feverfew.

These have saved his life and if that seems too dramatic then it definitely saved his sanity! He starts taking feverfew late summer and continues on through spring. It takes about a month for the feverfew to really be effective and that's why he begins taking it before fall starts.

Of course no woman should take this if she's pregnant or nursing. And I highly recommend the pills with the crushed feverfew leaves as opposed to feverfew free leaves for tea. Unless you like the taste of dirt and bark, then more power to you :)

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Thank you everyone for all the advice and thoughts on organics! I definitely have to continue my research, especially on those items like milk that we use every day. Silly me thinking I could trust companies to just do the right thing :)

It Ain't Easy Being Green

It started with recycling. Hubby began insisting on recycling about three years ago and I think we're pretty darn good at it.

He buys organic feverfew for migraines (works like a champ!) and organic lotions/deoderants. He tried just baby talc but let me just say that we live in Texas so talc and my nostrils are not man enough for his pits in 100 degree heat.

Then after Bella was born, I made the decision to buy only organic milk and then all organic dairy. Easy enough and makes perfect sense for a baby's body, right? Now if I was a even better mama, we'd be doing goat's milk and not cow but I'm not there yet.

Today we spent a eye-popping amount of money on all organic foods at Whole Foods. And it isn't that it all costs so much more than "conventional foods", just that the additional dollar or two more per item for being organically grown adds up quickly!

There's the argument that studies have shown no advantage to buying organic. I disagree. My husband's family elders grow most of their food or buy it locally from other farmers and they are very healthy, active 80 and 90-somethings. Even with his grandfather smoking like a freight train and drinking more than a brewery can churn out in a day, he still works from 4am to 5pm (okay, with a couple of naps sneaking in).

My husband and I have decided to make some lifestyle changes. We are stepping away from processed foods. Slowly. Gotta give ourselves some time to recover from the lack of instant gratification that comes from boxed cookies or potato chips.

We are committed to eating organic, whole foods. We are going to even switch to more "green" housecleaning products. We plan to grow our own herbs, which we attempted a few years ago until the cilantro went nuts and ended up 4 feet tall with flowers all over. Pretty but not tasty.

I used to make fun of those hippies eating organic but it seems so logical now. We aren't going vegetarian because we don't mind a nice juicy steak. However, we do require that lovely cow be fed grass and not grain.

Sure, there's hype and it is deemed trendy to be organic. Yet it is going back to the basics. Simplifying the human diet as it should be. Will we be healthier? I can't see how we wouldn't be.

Will we be broke? Eh, check back with me on that.

What's Mine Is Mine, What's Hers Is Mine.

Love is patient and love is kind. Unless you are three and one.

Ava had a fun birthday party on Saturday, complete with balloons, birthday cake and sugar rushes. Bella had a great time trying on all of Ava's new clothes and playing with her new toys.

We've officially begun the lifelong journey of learning to share.

Being a firstborn, I try hard to keep in mind what it's like, rather than get completely frustrated, when Bella kicks her little sister out of her room. Or yells at the 21-pounder for wallowing all over her before she's had her wake-up milk.

Explaining repeatedly that Ava gets first dibs on her own toys or that Bella has to share HER toys within reason is exhausting. Bella simply sees no reason for either.

Beyond sharing things, I work daily to share myself with the girls. I have to remind myself of the emotions that come with being the oldest. There are more expectations with the older child which can result in frustration and jealousy of the little one being canoodled while big sis has to fend for herself more. The balance of teaching Isabella independence yet allowing her to be snuggly and needful is very important to me. And her.

So that brings me to my questions:

What rank, if any, are you in the sibling order?

What have you liked most and least about your place in the birth line?

What, if anything, do you wish your parent(s) had done differently with you and/or your siblings?

Did your parent(s) do anything special just for you?

My husband is an only child and the addition of Ava to the family has already been an eye-opening, amazing experience for him. There's no such thing as a perfect parent, but we strive to be good parents. Our goal is to raise healthy, happy, kind and giving children. The dramatic flair both girls possess is just pink icing on the cake!

One Year Today

Dear Birthday Girl,

I can't believe we've already had your sweetness for a year!

You are the light of your sister's life. Isabella adores you and loves being your big sister.

You grew from tiny peanut to sittin pretty and before we knew it...

you were climbing into and out of trouble.

However darling you may be, dear Ava,

Willie still doesn't like his ears tugged.

Your smiles, your giggles, the way you cuddle with one arm curled tightly around my neck. How you suck your finger and thumb till they are raw. The way you look at us with a sparkle in your eye just before going off on another adventure, certain to result in shredded paper or half-eaten crayons/playdoh/books.

How your precious nose wrinkles when you are frustrated or simply want to hear yourself breath funny. The way you plink on the piano so proudly while standing on tippy-toe. Or hold a fresh diaper under your naked behind and squat on it as if to help me out. And those sweet, wet baby kisses at bedtime.

Ava Elizabeth, we love and cherish everything about you. Thank you for enriching all our lives.

Love,

Mama, Daddy and Bella

Happy Birthday, Ladybug!!

21 lbs, 30 in
Perfect in every way :)

Puff Jenny

Yesterday, during a wonderful performance of

Something Imaginary by Isabella,

a cute little bumblebee maraca flew into my face.

This morning, the teacher got a sobbing,

wailing, oops-she-peed-on-the-floor-so-sorry Bella

plus her mother looking like this:

I'm wondering if Ms Woodsen will ask Bella later

today what happened to her mama or

if she'll just conclude that we are fully dysfunctional.

**UPDATE**

Nobody told me that two days later it

would hurt like a mofo and look like this!

I know, I know. POOR ME!

Gonna Eat Alotta Peaches

So we went to the country this weekend. We've been going alot lately because my husband's 82 year old grandmother had back surgery and needed help around the house while she healed.

I love the country. In theory.

The clean, crisp morning air. The soothing sound of the tree leaves rustling in the gentle breeze as I sit on the porch swing with my littlest one before everyone else awakes for the day. Fresh garden vegetables and Granny's famous homemade jelly on her superb buttermilk biscuits.

Then I look over to my left and there's a huge spider. I hate spiders. My skin starts to crawl and I get the uncontrollable willies.

I look behind me and there's the world's most GIANT FREAKIN SPIDER. It is white with brown and black stripes. It's body is at least the size of a large marble. It's legs are a good two inches long. Yes, in the milli-second that I saw that spider and went into willies convulsions, that is what seared into my brain.

The rest of the weekend I was on spider patrol. It didn't help much when Bella woke up and said she saw a big BIG spider in the sky when she looked out the window.

It appears I've passed on this unfortunate reaction to God's gross creatures to my oldest daughter. She doesn't reserve the willies just for spiders. It also applies to grasshoppers. Like the one in Granny's kitchen we were all cooing over and having a great nature moment with. Until it jumped on her.

Isabella immediately screamed in sheer horror, began running in place and the willies overtook her tiny body. Everyone at the table stiffled their laughter but I immediately understood her reaction and held her close to me, trying to calm her and convince her the grasshopper just wanted to say hello.

Her hero, Daddy, captured the grasshopper in his hand and together they walked outside to set him free.

Bella had a good five minute conversation with the grasshopper no longer in her personal space way out there in the field.

"Goodbye, Mr Grasshopper! Your family is waiting for you! Eat a good breakfast! I hope to see you next time but don't jump on me, ohay, Mr. Grasshopper?"

Schoolyard Brawl - Toddler Style

Bella has an ongoing issue with a little girl she calls "Mad Girl."

It started when the little girl was swinging (don't these things always start over a swing?) and Bella wanted a turn. Now, granted, I am getting Bella's version of this which makes her out to be the kind, generous playground angel.

Bella says she asked the girl if she could swing, the girl said "No!" and pushed her. With her feet. While swinging. Sounds to me like Bella was standing in front of her and just happened to be in the way of simple swinging procedure preceded by an emphatic "No!" to her request.

However, Bella has since called her Mad Girl. She mentions her every day that she's gone to the playground.

Yesterday, she said that she yelled at Mad Girl. I asked what was said.

"I told her she's not friendly and I AM FRIENDLY!"

We apparently have to work on tone and delivery when one is supposed to be more friendly than her opponent.

I find it very interesting that, like her mother, early on Bella prefers friendships with boys as opposed to girls. She says her best friends are Mitchell and Gavin. She does have a little friend and cousins who are girls but for some reason at school she has boy pals. And what's funny is that everything about Bella screams Uber Girly! The apple didn't fall far from that tree.

I'm just trying to find enough excuses to beg out of another Girls Night Out tomorrow evening.

I am friendlier than YOU!!!

Conversations with a 3 Year Old

Bella's peering behind the couch and I hear a muffled question, "Mama, how did that big bug fly back here?"

I tell her that I have no idea. She stares at it some more then says, "I think it went to heaven. That means it got dead."

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Tuesday Bella was a very big girl and stayed for lunch as well as naptime on the condition that she would NOT have to actually sleep.

When I got there to pick her up, they of course had to wake her.

On the way home she was very excited to talk about her day, announcing proudly, "And I laid there but I DIDN'T SLEEP!"

Okey-doke, pumpkin. You really showed us.

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Bella's going to a Christian school and unfortunately, she refuses to sing "Jesus Loves Me" correctly, thanks to a little doll from China that sings it like a valley girl.

Her version? Jesus loves her because the bottle tells her SOooOooOoo.

I may get an eyebrow raised from the teacher on that one.

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While traveling to the country, we got pulled over for speeding on the highway. As I was giving my best annoyed eye roll to hubby, Bella was evaluating the situation.

"Daddy, it is NOT very safe for that man to stand in the street!"

Hubby agreed and explained that he was driving too fast and the police officer just wanted to tell him to slow down.

Bella pondered that for about a nano-second, then said, "Well, it still isn't very safe to stand in the street. Will you tell him?"

Eh. No. We're just going to take our ticket and go about our merry slow way.

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Ahhhh...the wonderful world of three.

Never lacking in imagination or drama.

Big Girls Really Don't Cry!

Today was Bella's first day of school and she did beautifully, restoring my faith in our decision to take her out of school last fall and wait until she was three.

This is what she WANTED to wear her first day:

(that is a visor connected to the fabulous sunglasses. Thank you, Oma!)

Monday we met her teachers and asked all the pertinent questions like (listing them for Aunt Amanda's viewing)

1) Who takes the kids potty? (bathroom in the room, door wide open, no yelling about having just pooped)

2) How do you discipline? (remove from situation, distraction, floggings with a wet noodle)

3) Do you call if there are tears of tremendous unhappiness? (they give child 30 min trying numerous tactics, then call the mama and hope she's not pretending to not hear it)

4) Even though Bella leaves at noon, can I stay and take a nap with the children? (A stare, then firm "No.")

Bella's best friend, her beloved Mitchell, is in her class. At their teacher meet n' greet, they held hands nearly the entire time. Fortunately, Mitchell is more ga-ga over Bella than she is for him. After about 30 minutes, Bella crossed her arms and growled when he tried to hold her hand for the umpteenth time.

This morning she woke up ready to go and there were no tears when we dropped her off. She was the first kid there, which was great so she could get acclimated. AND she could direct the kids as they came in to where they should play and with whom.

This is right before school. So excited. So much backpack.

We picked her up at noon and as expected, she was upset because she wanted to have lunch with the other kids. That's fine but the stickler is if she stays for lunch she has to stay for nap and she is NOT all about that. When she's bigger, she told us with a grin and skipped out of the school, giant backpack bouncing on her back.

A good first day. I am pleased.

This is Ava wondering when the heck she gets her nap and when it stopped being all about her.

Lil' Miss Manners

We are all about good manners that are age appropriate. For example, I will accept a "yes" over a "yeah" any day. We encourage the "yes ma'ams" and "no sirs" but won't enforce it until Bella's older. For now we are content to be that little reminder voice she hears but doesn't register.

However, I do wonder what the etiquette is with strangers on a few things.

Like during checkout yesterday, Isabella asked Mary the Clerk how old she is. When the lady either ignored her question or honestly didn't hear her, Bella asked again, loudly.

Was I supposed to hush her? Wouldn't it be a bit absurd to tell a 3 yr old that she can ask another child how old he/she is but not a grownup?

When Ava's cruising around she tends to grab onto anyone or anything in her path. That often means she's grabbing the knees or purses of others. I try to allow babies (even other people's) to explore as much as they want as long as no one is getting hurt or bothered. Containing a 10 1/2 month old for 60 minutes is ridiculously impossible otherwise.

Is this inconsiderate of others who may not think Ava's the most adorable ladybug in the universe? Crazy thought, but I guess it could happen.

I do teach Bella to be thankful and loving. Today was our last day of gym class so she finger painted a picture for Mr. Jeremy, her teacher. We rolled it up, wrapped a pretty ribbon around it and Bella presented it with great enthusiasm and a touch of bashfulness this morning.

Isabella is very good at thanking people when they hold doors open for us or when we leave a store. She thanks everyone, in fact, assuming they all live there and we'll see them next go around.

What do you expect from your child(ren) whatever their age at present? Is there anything you consider yourself a stickler on?

Tidbits n' Pieces

Happy Monday, All!

We've had an interesting last few days. First (second?) Ava's got her second tooth. Yay for her, boo for my boobies. We are going to have a serious talk about her knawing habit.

Our little love gave us a bit of a scare last week. She ran a high fever for several days with no other symptoms other than vomiting a good sippie cup's worth the morning we took her to the doctor. Because of the results fo her 9 month anemia test coming back low, the doc was concerned and rushed bloodwork at the lab. Ava is fine and probably had a virus but is okey-doke to continue her mama knawing.

While at the ped's office (one of Bella's favorite places on Earth), Bella wowed the doc with her lack of doctor fear and endless chattiness. I never interfere (ie. save the doc) from her verbal spewing because it is cute and fun to watch someone else get an earful.

Bella: "Soooooo, doctor, do I get a sucker because I am really REALLY good?"

Doc: "Sure, honey! What color would you like?"

Bella: (pause) "Mmmm, I think I don't know which one to choose, so I should have TWO suckers."

Ha! She picked a pink one (of course) and a blue one (Daddy's favorite color).

Since we were actually there for Ava, the doctor began to examine my very unhappy short one. Have I mentioned that Ava's scream could shatter glass? The examination room surely had shatter-proof windows.

As Ava and the doctor wrestled with the stethescope, Bella began singing and swinging her leg around: "Youuuuu are not listening to meeeeeeee. Noooooo, youuuuuuu are not listening to meeeeeeeee."

Psshhh. We pay our pediatrician to LISTEN, you know.

That was a long day for everyone though a pretty good one for Isabella :)

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Have you SEEN the new show on NickJr? It is something ridiculous like Yo Gabba Gabba. More like Holy Crappa Crappa. Seriously? With all the children's shows out there, you had to pick this one to add to your morning lineup? Perhaps it is meant to deter children from watching television. That makes total sense. When my own 3 yr old begins cleaning up her toys rather than watch TV, you know it is bad. Maybe NickJr is GENIUS.

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Would you like to make a fast and delicious dessert to impress everyone who knows you and those who wish they did? Well, I have the boxed dessert for you! It is by Krusteaz and they are pecan bars. My beloved sister turned me on to them and I amazed everyone with my incredible baking skills Saturday night. The most difficult part of the entire process was my husband prying them from my hands to take to the party.

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Hope you all had a great weekend! Have I told you lately how much I like you?

This October will be four years since I got paid to work. (Like how I stated that, all you stay-at-home moms?)

Anyway, that seems so long ago yet I can still remember everything about my job as if I was there yesterday. Weak coffee. Endless office gossip. Walking the stairs 15 times a day to exercise so I could pig out on whatever was in the break room. Arrogant executives, ignorant managers, emotional employees hired and fired like a revolving door spinning out of control.

I loved my position in Human Resources but I grew to hate the company. They were ridiculous and unethical. We in HR championed them to play by the rules, or at least exhibit human compassion, to no avail. Plus they fired me. Slam to the ego, let me tell you.

It was one of the weirdest times of my life. I like to think that God was so busy trying to figure out why the US was in Iraq, He had a fleeting moment to recall that I needed to be fired 3 days after being promoted. He wiggled His fingers and there you have it. To this day it is the only thing that makes sense to me.

Two weeks later, after thinking I had high school mono or something that might kill me, I found out I was pregnant. Four years later, I have a 3 year old and almost 1 year old. That seems so insane! My life is far richer and more blessed than I could've ever imagined.

However, I have thought about the repercussions of staying home. A recent study suggested that when you leave the workforce for just 3 years, you lose 38% of your salary when you try to get back in. Ouch.

Yeah, yeah, a few companies are hiring former SAHM's and transferring their home skills into workable skills but, c'mon, you and I know those employers are few and far between.

While my top priority is caring for my children, what if I need to go back to work one day? If it is 10 years from now, will I have to resort to retail? Or an underpaid and under appreciated receptionist? Will I need to go back to school? Could I stomach the corporate world? I don't think I'd have the tolerance for it. Even if I were to return to advertising and marketing, the crap that comes with it gives me tired-head to think about. Honestly, 3 year olds have better logic than adults most days.

For now I'm perfectly content to wipe little bums, play dress-up, live in the kitchen and apply makeup once in a blue moon. The time I get with my children is priceless. My husband always tells me he's envious of all the moments I experience with our children. What is routine to me is magical to him and I certainly never want to lose sight of that.

Have you thought of the what-ifs? Can you imagine going back to work? If you work, could you imagine not bringing home a paycheck and spending 24-7 with your kid(s)? Moms make all kinds of sacrifices on a daily basis, but what if you had to suddenly change what you've been doing for years?

Do tell...

First Impression

Yesterday while chatting with hubby on the phone, holding my darling baby girl as she giggled and played with my precious 3 year old, I felt the vibration of a blood-curdling scream erupting from my tiniest tot. Before I could blink, Bella was screaming and running out of the room holding onto her butt.

Why?

Because of the indentions she put on her sister's thumb with her teeth.

After an eternally long 3 minute time-out in her room, I asked Bella why on Earth she bit her sister. Very matter-of-fact, she replied, "I wanted to watch Little Mermaid, Mama."

Not the way to go about it, my dear.

Me...me...me...

Phew...growing from 9 months to 10 months old was exhausting and liberating!

I got a new tooth. Finally. Mama was beginning to wonder if I literally had jaws of steel since I had no teeth but could bite a raw carrot in half. Don't worry, she's since pulled out that handy list of have-nots for us infants to munch on.

And I walked. Yeah, yeah, please keep your cool. I took some steps to show that I so know how to do it and I've turned back into an all-fours speed demon. That's the real reason Mama lost all that weight.

She was going to put me in a little gym class but apparently I showed her a wee bit too much of my skillz and she's not sure she wants to "fan that flame." Dangit.

That's it in a nutshell. Lovin the food, still gettin boob, climbing everything within reach while trying for what's not, taking a few steps here and there to wow the crowds and in all just enjoying the attention that comes from being TOTALLY CUTE!

Back To Reality

Isabella has a fantastic imagination which thrills me and worries me at the same time.

As my mom and I've discussed my own childhood imagination, it was hard on me as well as her that I was such a daydreamer. Report cards generally had side notes about me being a good student except for spending so much time in LaLa Land.

Creative minds lead to wonderful things too. I am an artist, though out of practice other than drawing shapes and preschool artwork. I have always loved to read. I have big dreams of big things I'd like to do in life such as open a children's art studio in an old warehouse and hire local art institute students to teach.

On the other hand, a vivid imagination can be stressful or even frightening.

Since I was a child, I've gotten the heebie jeebies from leaving dark rooms or laying in bed in a very dark room. Kinda ridiculous since I always prefer to sleep in total darkness. I remember being a kid and laying in my parents' very large wooden CREEKY bed. I'd lay perfectly still, barely breathing, smack in the middle, covers up to my chin and tucked all in. I wouldn't look to the sides for fear of seeing the huge, gnarly green hand with thick yellow fingernails reaching for me. My heart would thud so loud I swear I could hear it. Then I'd begin to think that whatever was under the bed would just start stabbing at me from beneath the bed! Reigning that fear in long enough to doze off was often a challenge.

Sad part? I still get creeped out like that.

In recent months, I've been struggling spiritually. Questioning everything in and out of religion. Then one night as Ava snored sweetly next to me, I fell into a deep sleep only to be awakened by an incredible force pulling me. Not pulling my physical body but my soul. I fought it furiously with my mind but my body couldn't move. I was truly terrified. Then pissed. I yelled at it, "Let go of me, asshole!" Yeah, I cursed at an evil entity trying to swipe my soul.

When I was able to force myself to wake up, I was so scared I couldn't move for a moment which was even scarier. Finally I was able to snuggle up to my innocent baby girl, praying her precious spirit would protect me. Then I prayed mightily for forgivenes, for peace, for strength.

Now I'm not sure if it was imagination run amuck or literal come-to-Jesus moment for me. Either way, that night has me wondering/worrying if Bella will also experience the negative sides to creative thinking.

For now, it pleases me to see her twirl about the house pretending to be Peter Pan. She insists we address her as Peter Pan and that we don't ignore Tinkerbell who's always exactly where we aren't looking for her to be.

It is sweet and fun to pretend with my 3 year old. I want to continue to foster her imagination but I hope to also help her learn when to let go and return to reality.

Now I must go practice my air guitar lessons.

No Junk In The Trunk

When I got pregnant with Ava, I was 10 pounds heavier than when I was pregnant with Bella. May not seem like much to some but adding pregnancy weight to that, I thought surely I was doomed to forever wear 2 sizes bigger than what I'd been my whole life. Very traumatic.

A friend of mine started doing Weight Watchers. Her mother had joined and gave my friend all the info. She exercised (hahahaha..whew, the idea of doing that is friggin hilarious) and now she weighs what she did in high school. 123 lbs.

I KNOW!

When I'd had enough of the post-baby blubber, I asked her for help. She gave me all the WW materials for nursing moms and I began the diet immediately. I wouldn't even call it a diet. It is a change in the way I eat. I still snack all day. I eat chocolate and carbs. I just do it in moderation during the week, then lose my mind on the weekends. Sort of like college, but we won't go there.

Other diets nearly had me convinced that the WW diet was awful because you have to count points, when in fact it is so easy that I know in a nano-second how much I should or should not eat. 3 pts for a can of Coke or 3 pts for cookies? Eh, food please.

AND...I have lost 20 pounds. I've reached my goal!!

I highly recommend this diet. No, I'm not paid to say that though I'd surely accept payment in large bills, rolled not folded, faced the same way. WW is especially awesome for busy moms or nursing moms. Both of whom deserve a vacation from feeling like a beached whale.

However, if anyone can tell me where my butt went, I'm sure my husband would appreciate it.

*** Breaking News ***

Last night, Ava took her first steps free of any help.

She did it three times and was extremely proud of herself, squealing her delight,

while a little part of me was sad to see this huge milestone so soon upon us.

What's next, I ask. Reading?

Slow down, ladybug!

Razor Tooth Tiger

She is quick and quiet. She'll climb to her destination in a flash, teetering on the edge only for a moment before lunging forward to safety. She looks down, pleased with herself as she feeds on the crumbling tasty treat she'd come after.





She stops chewing and furrows her brow. A low growl begins. Then her tongue starts rolling around, in and out of her mouth, flicking bits of food all over herself. The growl is now louder then suddenly erupts into an ear-piercing screech as she rocks on all fours. She stops, smashes her gums together and grins, pleased that she made her sibling jump out of her skin.





Then she crawls over to her mother, demanding nature's snack. The mother protests. The growling begins again with the little one. She starts screeching again and as her mouth opens, the light bounces off what appears to be one tiny razor sharp tooth. The mother cringes and gives in, intent on weaning her little tiger sooner rather than later.

She'd Quit But Everyone Hates A Quitter

You mothers know your children. You can practically anticipate their next move or even thought! Then your child does something to remind you that he or she is a fantastic little individual and you should never underestimate her.

If you've been reading this blog for awhile then you know our struggle with Bella and her pacifier. The paci is Bella's vice, her smoke, her drink, her Godiva (yeah, it's mah weakness).

The dentist, who we've come to know better than her pediatrician these last two years, said that kids over age 2 with a pacifier become truly addicted to it. They believe they simply cannot sleep/survive without it. Sadly, with Bella, tis true.

So for the last 6+ months, we've been building up daily to her 3rd birthday. Rather, the week after her third birthday so she wouldn't always associate turning 3 with her parents ruining her life. (oh yes, drama of a 3 yr old equates to that of a tweenager)

Then she got sick. VERY sick. We thought she had a UTI but thank God the tests came back negative for it. Nevertheless, the week affectionately known as Hell Week, was set aside until she recovered.

Last night as I was tucking her into bed, she asked to sleep with me. I said no, she begged, pushed out a tear and I told her that she could sleep with me but NO PACI. She spit it out and trotted off to my bed all the while chatting about how much she loves me and I'm her best friend.

People, this child who's slept with a pacifier 95% of her life did not sleep with one last night.

Not a tear was shed. She didn't wake in the night asking for it. She woke up HAPPY!

I'm trying hard not to get too ahead of myself in thinking I can toss the Silicone Demon back to Satan but I am optimistic.

I don't care if she sleeps with me for the next 10 years if it means no more pacifier. Yes, you can remind me of that declaration when I'm complaining that my 13 yr old won't get her butt out of my back.

For now...victory for us all and a date with the playground for Bella.

When it was cute.

Who's Who At 9 Months

Let's play a little game.

Do you know which pictures are Bella and which are Ava?

They are both 9 months old when these were taken.

Most are easy but you may not know them all!

Bella never crawled. She tried for half a second then two weeks later began walking. So now that I have a crawler in the house, it has been fun as well as educational.

Ava can go from room to room at lightning speed. It is amazing! If I'm in the other room and she needs to find me (which is always, as of late), she'll wail "mamamama!" and bolt towards me, stopping only to eye a speck of leaf to determine if it is worthy of a taste before proceeding.

Ahhhh yes. Crawler's appetite. A walker looks for food bits on tables, toys or leftovers at their highchair's footrest. A crawler finds edibles in obscure places like corners, under the couch or behind furniture, smashing their cranium in awesome determination to retrieve a smidge of bug parts. They go out of their way for food inspection.

And Ava's learned the art of carrying something while crawling. She figured out quickly that it is uncomfortable to carry with one hand when crawling as it will crush fat fingers so she just puts it in her mouth. I have a human puppy.

She's quite pleased with her new skill. She's mastered it well and I don't know if she'll walk by ten months like big sister because Ava can high-tail it to her destination on all fours without injury (unless Mama puts a dress on her to trip on and smack her nose on the floor. Sorry, honeygirl!).

"They" say 50% of babies crawl. Guess that holds true in my house.

Go baby!